No Mandate Brown was nominated for using the death of his daughter for political advantage on the Piers Morgan show and that, combined with his general twattishness, seems to have secured the award.

Gordon Brown, you are officially a twat.  Again.

The first candidate, as ever, is El Presidente himself, Gordon “5 Pints” McBrown who was nominated by email for using his dead child for politicking.

The second candidate is Herman Van Rumpy-Pumpy, the President of the European Empire, for being an “Arrogant, unelected little mutant who acts like the heir to Caesar and Charlemagne. He looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book”.

A difficult choice between two very strong contestants this week.  On one hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Scottish europhile and on the other hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Belgian europhile.  It’s a tough one to call.

Thanks god this isn’t a general election!

Remember to get your nominations in for this week’s Twat of the Week.  Either post your nomination, with a one-liner to explain why, in the comments or send your nomination by email.

The nominations are:

• John Terry – for cheating pale French on pale English
• Gordon Brown for being Gordon Brown
• David Cameron: Wussy toff of a political leader. He hasn’t done much to differentiate Tories from Labour and has no coherent or strong policies. Wants to emulate Obama instead of Thatcher
• George Papandreou: Won’t leave the Euro, despite the pain his countrymen are feeling. Just another Euro-socialist waiting for trouble.
• News of the World for trying to undermine the best England captain we had in a long time in world cup year.
• The Sports Minister [John Sutcliffe] for putting pressure on the FA to sack the best captain we had in a long time, but said nothing when John Presscott shagged his secretary.
• Prof Phil Jones for contributing to global warming by having his bum on fire.

Voting will close lunchtime tomorrow.

Send me your nominations for this week’s Twat of the Week award by Friday lunchtime, ready for voting on Saturday.

Either email me or leave a comment with your nomination.

A one-liner to explain your nomination would be useful.

The first Twat of the Week, as nominated and voted for by the public, is …

Andrew “There’s cruelty in Englishness” Marr!

Glaswegian Marr’s racial slur against the English in his Sunday morning politics programme last week has resulted in many complaints to the BBC and now the first Twat of the Week award of 2010.

Andrew Marr, you’re a racist, a second-rate presenter and – officially – a twat.

The poll will close Monday so get voting!

Twat of the Week

First person on the list is Andrew Marr.  Send any further nominations up until Thursday, the poll will go up on Friday.

If you want to nominate somebody for this week’s Twat of the Week award, let me know.

Al Gore did take an early lead but proved to be no match for No Mandate Brown who knocked him into second place on day 2.  Michael Martin and Al Gore were level pegging for the last couple of days but Gore took him by one vote, probably cast after seeing one of those bloody irritating global warming propaganda adverts on the telly.

Camoron rallied slightly yesterday but it was too little too late and he finds himself languishing in joint 4th with Batshit.

Paul Hughes, my pretendy Welshman colleague who asked so nicely to be included in the poll despite not being a public figure, put in a magnificent showing finishing 6th in front of Jacqui Smith, Traitor Bliar and Alistair Darling who, with zero votes, really needs to put in more effort.

The final results were as follows:

A triumphant Gordon Brown thanked the people of the Republic of New Britain when presented with his award this morning at breakfast.  “This shows that the people have trust in New Labour and the reforms being delivered by the Ministry of Truth” he said between mouthfuls of porridge.

Al Gore, who had flown in specially from the US on his private jet for the celebration breakfast, was gracious in defeat although he was heard to call the Prime Minister a “kilt wearing polar bear murderer” for leaving the bathroom light on.

David Camoron missed the award ceremony after getting knocked off his bike by one of Alistair Darling’s eyebrows at a set of traffic lights.

David Milliband wasn’t present at the breakfast and hasn’t been seen since going on a binge with Peter Hain on Thursday night.  The pair were last seen staggering down Clapham High Street with a traffic cone and a car park sign singing what appeared to be a song about hedgehogs to the tune of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”.

Also missing was Tony Bliar who declined the invitation as he had a conference call with Jesus at 8.30am followed by guitar lessons with Jimmy Hendrix but thanked the Prime Minister for his vote.

Technorati Tags: Twat of the Year, Gordon Brown, Al Gore, David Miliband, David Cameron, Alistair Darling, Jacqui Smith, Tony Blair, Michael Martin

Technorati Tags: Twat of the Year, Poll

The nominations are as follows:

• Michael Martin
  Scottish MP and Leader of the House of Commons. Refused to allow the Justice for England march – a campaign for equal rights for English people – to pass by the House of Commons. Martin signed the Scottish Claim of Right and supported the establishment of a Scottish Parliament but wants to stop us from having the same in England. Also nominated for protecting the part time Scottish Defence Minister, Des Brown, in a recent debate on who pays his salary as Scotland Minister (his full time job)
• Gordon Brown
  No explanation necessary
• Tony Bliar
  Ditto
• Alistair Darling
  Surely those eyebrows have got to be reason enough?
• Al Gore
  Failed American presidential candidate turned global warming scammer. Partly responsible for the ridiculous “green” taxes and restrictions being imposed on us
• David Milliband
  “Reichsfuhrer Gordo’s pimp”
• Jacqui Smith
  Hardly had time to get the name changed on the door to the Home Secretary’s office befor she’d started introducing new illiberal and unconstitutional laws. Responsible for not honouring the English police pay deal agreed in arbitration and banning English prison officers from striking.
• Dave Camoron
  Q: How do you know David Camoron is slagging off the English? A: He opens his mouth
• Paul Hughes
  I know the rules are that only public figures can be nominated for an award but my work colleague sent an email saying “I want to nominate myself. I am a git to many people and I would love an award to prove that”. Well, seeing as he asked no nicely, it would be cruel to say no and besides I make the rules so I can break them.

Please cast your vote usnig the poll on the right …

Technorati Tags: Twat of the Year

Either post your nomination in the comments or email me.

Technorati Tags: Twat of the Year, 2007

For 10 years now this man has screwed over England and the English people and today – on the day he resigns as Prime Minister – Tony Bliar has been voted as this weeks Twat of the Week.

I won’t go into a rant about him or his treacherous ways here, I’m saving that for later.

Tony Blair, you are this weeks Twat of the Week.

Please cast your vote for this weeks Twat of the Week award.

A reminder of the reasons for the nominations are as follows:

José Manuel Barroso
For the bare-faced audacity to lecture us on democracy whilst talking about the EU not-a-constitution that he and his fellow Federal Europe traitors are trying to force on us against our will.

Lord Adonis
No, my Lords. The noble Lord is simply out of sympathy with the concept of devolution—that may be the understatement of the afternoon. The fact is that we have a Scottish Parliament . The Executive, alas, are no longer controlled by own party, but they have a perfect right to take decisions of this kind.

Tony Bliar
There’s a million and one reasons but treason and treachery will do this time.

Gordon Brown
One word. TWAT!

Nobody else stood a chance really – Bliar is determined to mark the end of his leadership of the Disunited Kingdom as the single most hated figure in public office, there can be no other explanation.

Tony Bliar, you are this weeks Twat of the week.

Please cast your vote for this weeks Twat of the Week award.

The nominations are …

• David Cairns MP
  Ruling out a review of the Barnett Formula
• Sir Michael Rawlins
  Chairman of NICE
  Blind to benefits of the union
• Hazel Blears
  "For just being a ginger fist magnet"
• Alan Mulally
  Head of Ford Motor Company
  Selling Jaguar and Land Rover
• Tony Bliar
  Give me my referendum you lying scumbag

The winner will be announced some time Monday.