Archive for Sport

Anyone but Murray

Wimbledon has started and the BBC are excited about the prospects of British Scottish British Scottish British Scottish Sour Faced Tosser, Andy Murray.

Personally, I couldn’t give a flying fuck which round he crashes out in as long as he cries like a baby.

Anyone But Murray

Amusingly, the above image is the first match in a Google image search for “Anyone But Murray”.

For followers of the perpetual British/Scottish schizophrenia of Andy “Anyone but England” Murray, the Andymurrayometer is worth a visit for a bit of a giggle.

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Shrewsbury make the play-offs

The mighty Shrews have beaten Dagenham & Redbridge to enter the League 2 play-offs.

All that stands between Shrewsbury Town and a return to League 2 is a couple of games.

At the start of the season it looked like they had promotion in the bag, then it all went a bit iffy before finally scraping back into the play-off zone.

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Andy Murray wins something

Andy “Anyone but England” Murray has won something.

It’s only the Miami Open but the BBC are beside themselves that the miserable jock has won something.  Imagine how unbearable they’d be if he won a grand slam?  Time to stock up on Andy Murray voodoo dolls.

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Anyone but Murray

Andy “Anyone but England” Murray lost again last night against Nadal.  Shame.

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England 26 – 12 Scotland

The cheese eating surrender monkeys last week and the sweaty socks this week.  We might not have won the Six Nations but we battered both the auld enemies and that’s good enough for me.

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England -v- Ireland

I will be Tweeting the the England -v- Ireland Six Nations game.

Follow the commentary on Twitter or Facebook.

If anyone is interested, here’s the commentary from Twitter …

  • England get the British national anthem again. When will we get Jerusalem instead?
  • National anthem scores: England 0 – 2 Ireland
  • All 3 BBC commentators – English, Irish and Welsh – are predicting an Irish win
  • Paddy’s are on the offensive, very good at line-outs
  • England aren’t even trying to win line-outs, very strange
  • Ronan O’Gara misses a penalty for Ireland. A good attempt but it was a long way and a challenging angle.
  • England make a break but waste the opportunity with a silly mistake. Lot of foot action going on at the moment.
  • England concede a penalty yards from the Irish line. Bit of nastiness. England concede another penalty, O’Gara misses by miles.
  • Not a particularly exciting game this, no score so far and neither side looking very dangerous.
  • Famous last words – O’Gara scores from a penalty. Third time lucky I guess.
  • England attacking, not convincing
  • England concede another penalty, Phil Vickery getting attention from the medics.
  • Ireland made the only convincing try attempt of the game so far. England put the ball into touch. Huge sigh of relief.
  • England come close to scoring a try – much closer than Ireland. Penalty to England, dead on and close. Flood scores an easy 3 points. 3 each
  • A dull first half. Score is 3 all. Nobody has shone in the first half, a thoroughly disappointing game so far!
  • Second half starting a bit more lively. Words will have been had in the changing rooms.
  • O’Driscoll scores a drop goal for Ireland. Score now 6-3 to Ireland.
  • Ireland looking much more promising than England. Nasty tackle on O’Driscoll, bet he’s seeing stars right now!
  • O’Driscoll runs into an Armitage shaped brick wall. Penalty for Ireland but no idea why. Armitage was trying to avoid tackling off the ball.
  • One too many knocks for O’Driscoll, he’s out of the game holding his head. Ireland came within an inch of a try.
  • Ireland using a penalty to get a lineout in the England corner.
  • Vickery gets a yellow card for playing the ball when he was off his feet – just what we need when Ireland are a few feet from the touchline.
  • O’Driscoll still on the pitch and scores a try for Ireland. No idea who went off holding his head then! Maybe there’s more than one?
  • O’Gara misses the conversion. England still within reach of a win but a man down and not playing as well as Ireland.
  • England looking like they might get a try – a blinding run halfway down the pitch
  • England attack is over – England throw the ball out of play and then concede yet another penalty.
  • Armitage scores a penalty for England bringing the score to 11-6 to Ireland. England need a converted try to win.
  • Toby Flood and Paul Sackey both injured. Andy Goode (aka the missing link) is on the pitch. Danny Care gets a yellow card, no idea why.
  • Danny Care got the yellow card for trying to bend an Ireland player the wrong way – well deserved.
  • O’Gara scores a penalty for Ireland. England are a man down, the game is Ireland’s
  • England suffering from being a man down. Ireland winning 14-6 with 3 minutes plus injury time left to play. The fat lady is warming up
  • Armitage scores a consolation try for England! Goode scores the conversion. 30 seconds left to play, a drop kick is all England need
  • Ireland wins 14-13 but England almost caused an epic upset in the dying moments. Awful play by both sides and the score reflects that

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Anyone but Murray

Andy “Anyone but England” Murray has progressed to the fourth round of the Australian Open and looks dangerously close to winning his first ever grand slam.

Don’t worry though, there’s still time to make your very own Andy “Anyone but England” Murray voodoo doll by following these simple instructions.

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Team GB again

FIFA have agreed to a British football team for the 2012 Olympics and No Mandate Brown has got assurances from Sepp Blatter that the independence of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish teams will be maintained.

The English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish fan associations are all opposed to a British football team and the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish football associations are also opposed.  Only the English FA supports the creation of a British team.

EL Gordo said:

Over time people in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland will see the benefits of this unique sporting event that’s coming to London – this unique event at which we would not have a football team represented

He has not interest in whether English people see “the benefits” of the 2012 Olympics, he just requires that we pay for it and supply medal athletes for the British team.

Gordo also said he had talked to Sepp Blatter about the …

… continuing representation of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland football associations in all international tournaments

The continued representation of the English FA in international tournaments is also of no interest to the Ignorant Jock who clearly envisages the English team carrying on the Team GB name after 2012.

According to the BBC …

The challenge, he said, was getting a UK team to compete in 2012 without compromising the independence of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish football associations.

Again, no mention of England, the sacrificial lamb of the Brownian Peoples Republic of New Britain.

The Goblin King says that he and Seb Coe have already spoken to lifelong Liebour supporter and fellow Scot, Alex Fergusson, about managing the British team.  It has also been suggested that the first Team GB match is played at Hamden Park to increase public support for the team.  Once again, it isn’t English support that they’re interested in, it’s celtic support.

So we’re still looking at a British team comprised of English players managed by a Scotsman and the continued existence of an England under critical threat.  Like I said back in September, sport is truly a microcosm of society.

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Histon? Who are they?

I can honestly say, I’ve never been excited about a football match that didn’t involve a team I support but I’ve just been on the edge of my seat watching Histon play Leeds.

Watching a team I remember being one of the best in England go down 1-0 to a non-league team is great but wathing them consistently out-played by the underdogs was excellent.  Histon deserve their FA Cup third round place.
Histon played brilliantly and the game reminded me of why I prefer lower league or non-league football to premiership football.  Can you imagine someone like Arsenal or Chelsea playing like Histon just did?

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? What a difference a Dave Makes ?

The second half of tonight’s game against Kazakhstan couldn’t have been more different from the first.

It took 7 minutes of the second half to score the first goal and they came thick and apart from a lucky goal by Kazakhstan, England dominated the second half.

But England still looked like they were going through the motions until Beckham came on and the team was transformed.  Smiles on faces, a new-found confidence and they worked like a machine.

Beckham should have been on from the start, England would have made Kazakhstan look like Accrington Stanley.

Rooney was named man of the match and he deserved it, if only for shaving off his ginger hair!

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Half Time: England 0-0 Kazakhstan

Three LionsKazakhstan?  Kazakhfuckingstan?

What a bloody shambles.  We should be 5-0 up by now at least but no – half way through the game and it’s still 0-0.  Not only that but Kazakhstan look like they have about 30 men on the pitch.

There have been moments when England looked like a World Cup winning team but they’ve been few and far between.  Very bloody far.

England have looked like amateurs for the whole first half.  So amateur you’d be forgiven for thinking you were watching a Scotland match.

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In your face Gillingham

I thought Mrs Sane was taking the piss when she said that Shrewsbury were winning 6-0, imagine my surprise when I saw that by the time the final whistle was blown, they had actually won 7-0!

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England -v- Croatia

Currently watching England -v- Croatia via Sopcast from somewhere out in the far east – China or somewhere like that by the looks of the presenters.

Few too many adverts but it’s free. 🙂

England won 4-1, well played.

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Andy “Anyone but England” Murray lost his first ever grand slam final to some dirty diego by the name of Federa.  Shame.

Anyone by Murray 

When the BBC wet themselves with excitement over him getting to the finals he was the Scotsman, Andy Murray.  When he lost he was the British hopeful, Andy Murray. 

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Word Cup Qualifiers

England plays Andorra tonight in the World Cup qualifiers.  Will I be watching?  Will I buggery – it’s only on Setanta and there is no way I’m subscribing to a bloody sports channel just to watch one football match and I’ll tell you why …

Firstly, I don’t have that much interest in sport.  I like to watch international football and rugby matches and on the very rare occasions that Shrewsbury Town are on telly, I watch that.  I like to see the English-hater, Andy Murray, lose and of course I cheer on anyone but Scotland or Wales.  Would I watch £13 worth of sport in a month?  No.

Secondly, on principle I will not pay to watch England on TV.  We fund our football team through our taxes and it costs us millions.  It’s not unreasonable to expect to be able to watch your national team for free on the telly.  You wouldn’t, after all, buy a season ticket for your team of choice and then expect to pay to watch them play, would you?

As a happy aside, the sweaty socks lost 1-0 to (don’t laugh) Macedonia.

If you want to watch the match you can watch it for free on Andorra TV over the internet.  The feed quality is awful but it’s better than nothing.  The commentary is in Spanish but I’ve just muted the ATV audio and I’m listening to the commentary from BBC Radio 5.

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Sorry, who gave football to the world?

No Mandate Brown has told Sky News that he hopes there will be a Team UK for the 2012 Olympics.  Not Team GB you’ll note, but Team UK.  Great Britain doesn’t include Northern Ireland – something that doesn’t seem to bother Lieutenant Governor Brown in Beijing – but the Northern Ireland FA is the only one that has said it might join the English FA in a British football team.

Team Britain?  Hell no!He went on to say “Britain is the home of football, which we gave to the world, and people will be surprised if there is an Olympic tournament in football and we are not part of it”.  This is the kind of revisionist drivel that our glorious leader loves so much.  Football has been played in England since the 12th Century but only made its way north of the border in the 19th Century.  English football has spawned not only the international game the Americans call soccer but American football, Australian football, rugby and a multitude of other football and rugby related games.  Scotland brought the Tartan Army to the game…

As for people being surprised if there isn’t a British football team, I think they’d be more surprised if there was one because Britain simply doesn’t exist from a footballing point of view.

Like I said, just the sort of revisionist drivel you expect to hear from a British nationalist Scot desperate to deflect attention from the rapid disintegration of the union caused by his party’s anti-English, Scottish appeasement.

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Why “Team GB”?

I have no interest in the Olympics – we don’t have an English team and there are many, many more things that those billions could be spent on, like cancer treatments and housing homeless people.

I do have to wonder, though, why the UK’s Olympic body insists on calling its team “Great Britain”.

Great Britain is a geographical term referring to the big island that England shares with Scotland and Wales but the GB Olympic team includes Northern Ireland, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands, none of which are on Great Britain.

As an Olympic team name, it’s pretty rubbish as it leaves out nearly 2% of the population.  That’s hardly representative of the Olympics values.  Perhaps it’ll be renamed for the 2012 Olympics to Team British Nations, Regions, Provinces and Crown Dependencies located in the British Isles.  Team BNRPCDLBI doesn’t roll off the tongue like Team GB, I’ll grant you, but at least it doesn’t leave anybody out.

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Shropshire Star: Why can’t we all just be Brits?

This letter was in the Shropshire Star last night.  The title wasn’t my idea …

Why can’t we all just be Brits

Great Britain won its first gold medal of the Olympics on Sunday.  The BBC were beside themselves and delighted in telling the world that the medal winner was Welsh and it was the first Welsh Olympic medal since 1972.

Fast forward one day and two more medals have been won … by “Britons”.  These “Britons” were English but there was no mention of this on the BBC – on the BBC, English means British.

The BBC may be the worst culprit but it’s not just them that do this – on the back page of the Shropshire Star on Monday the Olympic coverage refers to the two English medal winners and British and Andy Murray as a Scot.

Is it too much to ask for some consistency?

Stuart Parr

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Olympics: yawn

Am I the only one that has absolutely zero interest in the Olympics?

The BBC have devoted BBC1 to covering the games, even the Breakfast programme has been relegated to the News 24 channel.

I might be more interested if there was an English team but I just can’t get excited about Team GB, even when I know that the competitors are English.

The only real interest I have in the Beijing Olympics is the fact that they’re actually being held in China.  Human rights abuses, a totalitarian dictatorship government, widespread censorship and the continued illegal occupation of Tibet should preclude China from holding the Olympics on the basis that it goes against the aims of the Olympic Charter.

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Exit court left

Me again. Wonko will get back from his well-earned break and wonder what he’s done giving me access to this… Still, I’m here with some good news this time: English-hating tennis hack Andy Murray has been knocked out of wimbledon.

Good riddance you lanky streak of Scottish piss. One can only hope he will never darken the borders of our nation again.


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