Books Direct - shit company

I signed up to Computer Books Direct (part of Books Direct) a few years ago because they had a really good offer on. I have only ever bought a couple of books from them and never buy the Editor's Choice so I had them stop sending them to me.

All was going hunky dorey, they sent me catalogues every month, I checked to see if there was anything I wanted and ordered it if there was.

Then, about 6 months ago, they sent me an invoice showing a charge for a book. I phoned them to explain that I hadn't ordered a book and hadn't received one. They told me it was the Editor's Choice. I told them I didn't want it and hadn't received it. They told it was waiting to be delivered because they didn't have any in the warehouse. I told them I didn't order the book, didn't want the book and not to send it.

Observant readers may be detecting a theme here.

The book arrived a few weeks later so I phoned up and explained patiently that I didn't order the book. I then went on to explain that I didn't want the book and that I had told somebody weeks ago before the damn thing had left the warehouse that I didn't want the book and not to send it. They said they would send a returns label.

Fast forward through about 6 months of invoices, emails and phone calls.

Last month they sent me an invoice saying they were going to add late payment charges for this book. I emailed them and told them that I have asked repeatedly for the books to be collected or a returns label but they have failed to provide the means to return the unwanted and unordered items. They replied to tell me they were sending a label and that they would apply a charge for shipping to my account. I replied informing them that they could go forth and multiply and that if they wanted to take the piss I would be sending them an invoice for my time, effort and phone calls to the value of the book they had sent me which I would then sell on eBay. They replied telling me that they would send a label to return the books for free.

A victory for the little guy. Kind of.

The mother in law came round this morning to pick up the books to take to the post office for me. I didn't have any invoices as Mrs Sane has a habit of throwing any letters of any use away so I couldn't put my membership number on the returns label. Not a problem though I, I'll phone them up. I was surprised to note that the phone menu has changed and now allows you to get through to an operator without running up 50p worth of call charges ignoring the menu system 500 times. My surprise soon turned to dismay when I realised that this change was because they have presumably saved millions by moving their call centre to India so they no longer need to generate as much revenue from phone calls.

To cut a long story short, I batteled with this bloody infuriating woman for about 5 minutes to get my membership number. She asked me (repeatedly) my name, postcode, address, phone number (which I had never given them anyway) and which book I last ordered.

The last point proved to be the difficult one. I explained I hadn't ordered any books and that I didn't know which book they had sent me as it was still sealed in its box. She repeatedly asked me what book it was until I shouted at her. Then she told me that my membership number was on the invoice for the book. I explained repeatedly that the book was sent 6 months ago and all my invoices had been thrown away. After being told to look at the invoice and explaining that it had been thrown away about 10 times, I eventually resorted to shouting at her. In the end I got the reply "Well sir, if you cannot tell me what book you last ordered I cannot give you your membership number because of DPA". I shouted at her a bit more, told her the customer service was bloody stupid and told her to cancel my membership. "But I do not have your membership number sir" she replied, at which point I said something impolite, hung up and threw the phone.

Books Direct - shit company.