Books Direct: More shit than I gave them credit for

Following on from my previous entry on Books Direct ...

Books Direct have today sent me a demand for payment for the books which I sent back to them last month. Here's the message I just sent them ...

Thank you for your demand for payment which I received today, the contents of which are noted.

I regret that I am unable to pay you this money because I have already returned these books to you.

The history of this whole saga is long so I will briefly recap.

Firstly, I never ordered these books - you decided to send them to me off your own back.

It took many, many attempts to get returns labels for these books over the course of at least 6 months.

When I eventually managed to get returns labels from you I phoned up customer services for my membership number as I no longer had any correspondence from you because your company is so dismally appaling at everything it does and I have no intention of ever using it again.

I spoke to a rude woman who barely spoke understandable English who asked me repeated personal questions to "verify my identity" - some of which I had never given anyway.

After a painfull 5-10 minutes listening to this barely intelligble interrogation, she informed me that she could not divulge my membership number for Data Protection Act reasons and told me over and over again that I should get it from the correspondence I repeatedly told her I had previously thrown away.

In the end I gave up trying to reason with this imbecile and simply returned the books without my membership number on the returns label but including my name and address.

Now I find I have received a demand for payment for these books which I neither wanted or requested and which I have already returned.

Your company is a shambolic, disorganised, incompetent mess. I have genuinely never dealt with a more ludicrously pathetic bunch of people in my entire life.

You will not receive a penny from me. All you can expect to receive from me is an invoice for my costs, both in terms of wasted phone calls and in time, effort and resources trying to return YOUR goods which you should never have sent to me in the first place.

If you continue to pursue me for this, I will seek damages from you for harassment and, in the process, expose your company for the incompetent mess that it is.

I feel better now.