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Thursday, June 15, 2006

England -v- Trinidad & Tobago: (kind of) live blogging

I've just settled down with a cup of Twinings English Traditional tea to watch England play Trinidad & Tobago. To ensure that I didn't end up throwing my cup at the telly I muted it after the words "... English national anthem ..." and turned the volume back up again for the Trinidad & Tobago national anthem. God Save the Queen is not the English national anthem, it is British.

17:00 - Kick Off
17:01 - England have their first shot on goal
17:06 - Crouch passes to Lampard who takes a cracking shot at goal which is saved
17:09 - T&T have kept the ball in England's half for a few minutes now
17:10 - T&T have a free kick which is lofted way over the heads of everyone in the box and goes straight out of play
17:11 - Beckham half heartedly take a shot on goal and gets a corner
17:11 - Beckham takes the corner, the ball is deflected form goal and Crouch takes a shot on goal but misses
17:12 - T&T have a limp shot at goal, England retaliate with a weak attempt at the other end
17:14 - England look busy at T&T's end of the pitch
17:17 - England have been keeping T&T's goalie and defenders busy
17:18 - Free kick deflected by the wall
17:19 - T&T player Theobald gets a yellow card for fouling Gerrard
17:20 - Beckham's free kick is deflected, Crouch tries to head it in but puts it into orbit
17:21 - T&T player Whitely gets a yellow card for fouling Gerrard
17:22 - T&T player passes the ball across the goal mouth but Robinson saves it easily
17:23 - T&T player Edwards wastes an opportunity
17:24 - Owen gets sandwiched and knocked to the ground in the T&T area but no penalty
17:25 - England throw-in near T&T's area but ball goes out of play
17:26 - T&T get the ball up England's end but it's quickly send back the other way
17:27 - Crouch and Gerrard have a go but nothing comes of it
17:27 - T&T player gets a ball in the knackers, looks uncomfortable
17:28 - England have 68% of possession
17:28 - T&T player Dwight Yorker still rolling around on the floor
17:29 - Referee has no idea who is supposed to be taking a free kick, plumps for T&T and Lampard gets fouled
17:30 - Corner for England, Beckham lofts it way over the defenders, ball gets passed about a bit and T&T goalie saves it
17:32 - Owen's little legs can't get him to a pass on time, wins a corner, Beckham takes it and Gerrard sends it 300 yards over the cross bar
17:33 - A minute or so of frantic passing about and tackling results in bugger all
17:34 - Lampard has a hopeful shot at goal and just misses
17:36 - T&T nearly score from a corner but miss
17:37 - Crouch tries to head a Ferdinand pass into the box but T&T intercept and clear it
17:28 - T&T have a free kick and narrowly miss goal again
17:40 - England fannying round in their own end
17:40 - Lampard sends a shot over the crossbar
17:42 - Beckham misses a weak shot at goal
17:42 - Crouch misses a golden opportunity, falls over trying to do a volley
17:43 - England looking dangerous for a couple of minutes but no goals
17:44 - T&T get the ball out of their own half and send the ball way out of play
17:45 - Dwight Yorke takes a corner, T&T have an open shot as Robinson is on the floor, Terry clears it, T&T try again, Terry clears again
17:49 - Referee blows the half time whistle as Owen boots the ball into the back of the net, no goal


HALF TIME


18:05 - Second half
18:07 - England looking vaguely competent
18:10 - T&T waste a free kick
18:12 -T&T controlling play
18:13 - Two England attempts at goal, both missed
18:15 - Owen belts the ball the wrong side of the post, only just misses
18:16 - Crouch takes a shot which gets saved
18:17 - Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Rooney!
18:18 - England well and truly back in control of the game
18:20 - Beckham free kick goes wide
18:21 - England attacking
18:21 - Lampard sends the ball into orbit again
18:22 - England attacking again, looking dangerous
18:23 - Lampard gets a dubious yellow card
18:23 - Lampard passes the ball into the area but T&T intercept
18:25 - T&T on the offensive
18:26 - Rooney's foot seems to be holding up
18:27 - Two England throw in's
18:28 - T&T waste an opportunity
18:29 - Crouch heads the ball over the bar
18:30 - T&T have a sloppy attempt, an easy save
18:33 - Rooney shows us what it's all about but Yorke intercepts
18:33 - Lampard has a go, misses, T&T concede a corner, no goal
18:34 - Lennon gets fouled, free kick from a fair distance wasted
18:35 - Gerrard saves our skin with some excellent defending
18:36 - Crouch gets penalised for hanging on to a T&T player - tenuous decisions
18:36 - Crouch lays the ball on for Lampard who almost scores
18:38 - Lampard misses again, England looking very strong
18:39 - Ashley Cole has half a chance, falls over
18:41 - Beckham, Rooney and Lampard owning the pitch
18:42 - GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL! Peter Crouch, you are the man!
18:45 - Rooney tries some acrobatics, fluffs it, easy save
18:48 - My not quite 2 year old daughter is apparently outside singing "Inglergend"
18:49 - England slowing the game down
18:50 - Gerrrrrraaaarrrrrdddddd! A cracking goal from outside the area.
18:52 - Superb goal by T&T disallowed for offside

FULL TIME

England win 2-0. The first goal by Peter Crouch who somehow manages to be an excellent footballer despite running like a baby giraffe. The second goal by Gerrard, rewarded for his persistence.