Stand aside, I’m coming in

! This post hasn't been updated in over a year. A lot can change in a year including my opinion and the amount of naughty words I use. There's a good chance that there's something in what's written below that someone will find objectionable. That's fine, if I tried to please everybody all of the time then I'd be a Lib Dem (remember them?) and I'm certainly not one of those. The point is, I'm not the kind of person to try and alter history in case I said something in the past that someone can use against me in the future but just remember that the person I was then isn't the person I am now nor the person I'll be in a year's time.

The Centre for Policy Studies has produced a new booklet detailing the 266 ways that agents of the state can legally enter your home without your permission.

There are some interesting ones to watch out for …

  • When blogging about politics it is important that you comply with the EC Fertilisers (England and Wales) Regulations 2006 which allows an agent of the state entry to your property to supervise your use of fertilisters – such as bullshit.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £5,000.
  • Anyone doing business with a country that America doesn’t like needs to be aware that HM Revenue & Customs are able to enter your property to search for evidence of trade with Al-Qa’ida or the Taliban.
  • Make sure you check your pockets before doing the washing because if you’re suspected of laundering money (yes, I know it’s a crap joke) an agent of the state is entitled to enter your property with a warrant to search for evidence of an infringement of EC Money Laundering Regulations 2003.
  • If you’ve been letting your garden get a bit unruly over the winter then watch out for a DEFRA agent knocking on your door under the Weeds Act which allows him to enter your property to check for the presence of virulent weeds on the instructions of the Millibeast.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £1,000.
  • If you own a bit of land in a growing town that your local unelected regional development agency wants to build houses on you must allow an agent access to your property so they can decide whether to compulsary purchase it.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £1,000.
  • Despite reassurances from the Valuation Office Agency, agents of your local authority have the power to enter your property for the purposes of council tax valuations under the Local Government Finance Act 1992.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £500.
  • Interesting rock formation in your back garden?  The Natural Environment Research Council has the power to enter your property to survey your land under the Geological Survey Act 1845.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £20.
  • Under the Gas Act 1965 an agent of the state has the power to enter your property to discover any underground site suitable for the storage of gas.  Obstruction can result in a £200 fine.
  • Married to someone in the Armed Forces?  Don’t try and encourage them to leave the forces or the police can enter your property to search for evidence under the Incitement to Disaffection Act 1934 that you are encouraging a member of the Armed Forces to resign.
  • Does your book collection contain anything that denies the existence of god or questions the bible?  Then an agent of the state can enter your property under the Criminal Libel Act 1819 to sieze blasphemous material.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Hat-tip: An Englishmans Castle


  1. Christine Melsom, Isitfair (2 comments) says:

    Join the Isitfair campaign calling for the reform of the council tax system.
    Join in the Brown Envelope Campaign all details on
    Isitfair is strictly no party political and funds itself from donations and gifts of stamps, stationery etc.

  2. Scaffold (146 comments) says:

    Does possessing satanic black metal CD’s fal under Criminal Libel Act? LOL

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