Archive for March 2007

Kidnapped soldiers may face trial in Iran

The Iranian News Agency, IRNA, claims that the British soldiers kidnapped in Iran may be facing a trial in Iran.

The Iranian Ambassador to Iran has apprently told a Russian TV station that the soldiers will face trial and be punished if found guilty in Iran but the last the Iranian Foreign Minister had to say on the subject was a week ago when he said they were considering it.  The Ambassador has apparently suggested that the legal process has already started but didn’t say what they were being charged with.

One side saying one thing, one side saying another.  Kind of backs up the theory that there are at least two different factions in the Iranian government involved in all this.

Is anyone actually surprised?

I haven’t blogged about the Iranians kidnapping some of our soldiers because I really couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say that every other blogger isn’t already saying.

However, over the last few days the situation – I feel – has changed.  When it all kicked off it was a simple case of “you threaten to invade our country, we’ll embarass you” – they were taking the piss.  I think the original plan to kidnap some soldiers was probably conceived by the less militant element of the Iranian government as a way to score points and keep the hard-liners happy without actually going as far as blowing something up.  I think the change of focus into using the soldiers as a propaganda tool is the work of the hard-liners in the Iranian government who weren’t bought by the pissing contest originally planned.

I don’t think the soldiers are in any danger but I think they will be exploited more before they are released.  I can’t see the situation escalating too much further either in real terms.  Iran is a big oil producer with a lot of support in the middle east.  Support amongst Islamic countries for action against Iran will be hard to get – maybe Pakistan and Saudi will give their support and possibly Turkey too but it won’t go down well at all.  Then there’s the fact that both our own armed forces and those of the US are severely overstretched already and despite Bush declaring the war to be over and won for some time, Iraq is still out of control.  Iran is big – the 7th biggest country in the world, the Iranians are happy with their government as a whole and they are deeply religious people in a fundamentalist state – they will see an attack on their country as an attack on their religion and nothing (except, perhaps football ;)) motivates people like religion.  They also have the largest troop mobilisation in the world and because they produce their own military hardware nobody is quite sure what they have.

So, when will the soldiers be released?  As soon as the media stops putting their photographs on the front page of newspapers and giving it extended coverage on the news channels.  They are being used for propaganda purposes, stop giving them what they want and they’ll be of no use to them and they’ll send them back.

Oh yes, and tell Bush to stop threatening to invade their country for trying to build nuclear power stations might help as well.

Twat of the Week

It’s been a while since we had a Twat of the Week competition but as I’m still sat at work waiting for a computer to go beep at me I amy as well take the opportunity to ressurect the award.

So, any nominations?


Mugabe given another 5 years

The tyrant Mugabe has been given a further 5 years as president of Zimbabwe.

Zanu PF, the party that Mugabe heads up, has approved him as their candidate for the upcoming elections.

This doesn’t guarantee that he will win the next election of course, there’s a chance that a majority of Zimbabweans will defy the armed police who hang around outside the polling stations ready to beat anyone who votes for the wrong candidate.

News reports indicate that Mugabe’s only opponent is recovering nicely from his beating at the hands of the Zimbabwean police.

First Guantanamo detainee sentenced

The US has finally sentenced the first detainee held at Guantanamo Bay.

It’s a strange choice of first victim – a white Australian.  Presumably they think it will send a message to Asian muslims that they aren’t treating white muslims differently.

David Hicks, an Australian, has been sentenced to 7 years in prison but will serve only 9 months.

What next for Charlie Falconer?

Charlie Falconer has been told that he won’t be heading up the new Justice Ministry after the transitionary period.

Where will the fat, sweaty turd be dumped next?

Which department will Charlie Falconer get?
Department for Constitutional Affairs/Ministry of Justice
Department for Culture, Media and Sport
Home Office
Department of Health
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
Department for Transport
Department for Education and Skills
Department for Trade and Industry
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
HM Treasury
Northern Ireland Office
Privy Council
Wales Office
Scotland Office
Department for Work and Pensions
Department for International Development
Ministry of Defence
Department for Communities and Local Government
Cabinet Office
He’ll be sacked
Free polls from

Justice Ministry

The Home Office has been split into two with the creation of a Justice Ministry.

The new ministry will be headed up by the unelected Scottish Lord Chancellor, Charlie Falconer, while it is being reorganised.

The Department for Constitutional Affairs is taking over the sentencing side of the legal system from the Home Office and will be renamed the Justice Ministry.  Charlie Falconer will be moved elsewhere in the cabinet – still unelected of course – once the reorganisation has taken place and an, as yet un-named MP will take over the Justice Ministry.

What is left of the Home Office is going to take over counter-terrorism from the Cabinet Office and will see the creation of yet another government department called the Office for Security and Counter-Terrorism.

It has been pointed out that the Home Office has been bigger and the position of Home Secretary has had more responsibilities in the past but still performed perfectly well.  It is only since a succession of illiberal dimwits have been put in charge of the department that the department has apparently become unmanageable and “not fit for purpose”.  To divide it up and leave the same bunch of idiots in charge won’t solve anything – it’ll just cost more money, increase the size of the government and it’ll still be incompetent.

The only way to improve the Home Office is a regime change in the entire British government.  The Tories, Lib Dums and all the other parties need to work together and propose a vote of no confidence every day that Gordon Brown is Prime Minister after Bliar resigns until they bring the British government down and get a general election.  Only a change at the top is going to make a difference.

EU votes to abolish English football team

The European Federation yesterday voted to abolish the English football team and replace it with a British football team.

MEPs were asked to vote on 180 proposals in less than 90 minutes, once of which was for the English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish football teams to be replaced by a British football team.  UKIP MEPs voted against the proposals but it was – unsurprisingly – voted through by MEPs from other countries who have been petitioning UEFA and FIFA for years to abolish our national teams.

There was also a vote to enforce the flying of the EU rag and playing of the EU anthem at European football finals.  I haven’t found out if this one got through yet.

New £20 note looks familiar …

Mrs Sane brought home a new £20 note today and we both commented on the fact that it looks significantly different to any other bank note.

It looked kind of familiar though so I did a Google search and guess what, it bears a rather uncanny resembelence to the euro notes.  Funny that.  The £2 coin looks just like the €1 coin as well.

Funny that.

Send a Chip

A Scottish company,, has the following incitement to commit an act of racism on the front page of its website:

Not sure what to send this St. George’s Day? Why not send a poo to your favourite (or least favourite Englishman!). Send one now and select scheduled delivery for arrival on 23 April.

Racism under English and Scottish law doesn’t just cover colour racism (although it often appears to be) but includes nationality.  Inciting someone to send a plastic poo to an English person on St Georges Day just because they are English is racist.

I suggest that any English person offended by this anti-English racism firstly makes a complaint to the CRE and secondly registers at and gets a bag of chips sent to’s offices.  A bag should provide enough chips for their shoulders for a couple of days.  Or you may want to post your own poo (not literally your own, that would be unhygenic and breaches countless public health and postal laws) to them.

Their address is:
James Square
55/7 Caledonian Crescent
EH11 2AT

EU national anthem at football matches?

MEP’s will vote this week on proposals to enforce the flying of the EU rag and singing of the EU “national” anthem at European football championships.

It’s not clear whether the proposal is to have it playing instead of national anthems of the countries involved or whether it will be played in addition to the national anthems like they do in the cricket when England have Jerusalem played before the British national anthem.

I’m unsure what the reaction would be to the EU anthem being played at a football match involving England.  It’s a nice enough tune – Ode to Joy from Beethoven’s 9th – but we are the most eurosceptic country in the EU.  Either the song will be ignored because nobody recognises it or it will be greeted by boos and whistles.  I’m leaning toward the latter.

There’s also the question of what happens when a non-EU country’s team is in the finals.  Say, for instance, the final was between Norway and Switzerland (yes, it’s unlikely, but how many people put money on Greece in 2004?).  Neither of these countries are EU member states – would their fans be forced to watch some jumped up eurofederalists parade around the pitch waving that blue rag and listen to a piece of classical music that apparently represents the values of the EU (I’d have though Deutschland über alles was a more appropriate choice personally)?

I mute the telly when they play God Save the Queen before England matches, I’d turn the telly off rather than see the EU take over the event for its own propaganda purposes.  This is just a step too far – sport is the main expression of nationalism in Europe (in England, it’s the only one we’re still allowed by the Scottish Raj) so it’s easy to see why the eurofederalists are keen to take control of it.

I am not an EU citizen.

EU offices raided

The European Federation hasn’t signed off its own accounts for 8 years because they are fraudulent.

EU commissioners and other EU civil servants are protected from the law by immunity from prosecution, hence the widespread fraud and theft that runs throughout the entire corrupt organisation.

Police have now raided the offices of EU institutions in 3 different countries as part of an investigation into allegations of fraud and bribery over security contracts for the EU’s new federal embassies.

What was it the Berlin Declaration said?  We have united for the better?  Screw that, how can we trust this bunch of crooks with a single penny of our money?

The Berlin Declaration

Blair has signed the Berlin Declaration declaring the European Federation to be the best thing since sliced bread (assuming the EU hasn’t banned sliced bread yet), the reason for peace in Europe (don’t mention Yugoslavia, Georgia, Cyprus …) and the best thing that could ever happen to us ever.

The text of the declaration follows with my own comments (hover over the ‘s to see them) but it’s worth noting that the declaration will implement large portions of the rejected EU Constitution and calls for the EU to be put on a “new common basis” before the European Elections in 2009 – ie. before we have a chance to send some more eurosceptic MEP’s to put a stop to it.

For centuries Europe has been an idea, holding out hope of peace and understanding Yes, Napolean and Hitler had some very firm plans on a political European Union . That hope has been fulfilled. European unification has made peace and prosperity possible. It has brought about a sense of community and overcome differences. Each Member State has helped to unite Europe and to strengthen democracy and the rule of law The actual decisions in the EU are made by the unelected commission. Thanks to the yearning for freedom of the peoples of Central and Eastern Europe the unnatural division of Europe is now consigned to the past Yet they still refer to Central and Eastern Europe so there's still a division?. European unification shows that we have learnt the painful lessons of a history marked by bloody conflict. Today we live together as was never possible before.

We, the citizens of the European Union, have united for the better No, it's been an unmitigated disaster for the UK.


In the European Union, we are turning our common ideals into reality: for us, the individual is paramount. His dignity is inviolable. His rights are inalienable The English Bill of Rights says that the EU can't make laws in my country - my rights are being violated. Men and women enjoy equal rights But Turkey is joining soon and women aren't equal to men there. We are striving for peace and freedom, for democracy and the rule of law, for mutual respect and shared responsibility, for prosperity and security, for tolerance and participation, for justice and solidarity That's why the EU can be divided into two parts - France & Germany and the rest of the EU.

We have a unique way of living and working together in the European Union. This is expressed through the democratic interaction of the Member States and the European institutions They missed the word . The European Union is founded on equal rights and mutually supportive co-operation The EU was founded - and still operates - as an exclusive club. This enables us to strike a fair balance between Member States’ interests English interests are mostly different to the rest of the continent.

We preserve in the European Union the identities and diverse traditions of its Member States What a crock of shit - a “Europe of Regions” doesn’t preserve national identities. We are enriched by open borders and a lively variety of languages, cultures and regions Illegal and economic migration has flooded England with unemployable foreigners. There are many goals which we cannot achieve on our own, but only in concert Like what?. Tasks are shared between the European Union, the Member States and their regions and local authorities England has no representation at the EU.


We are facing major challenges which do not stop at national borders And we can't even control our national borders any more. The European Union is our response to these challenges. Only together can we continue to preserve our ideal of European society in future for the good of all European Union citizens I'm not a European Union citizen and I don't belong to a European society, This European model combines economic success and social responsibility. The common market and the euro make us strong The Euro is a weak currency, even Slovenia qualifies for membership!. We can thus shape the increasing interdependence of the global economy and ever-growing competition on international markets according to our values. Europe’s wealth lies in the knowledge and ability of its people; that is the key to growth, employment and social cohesion.

We will fight terrorism and organised crime together How do terrorists get here in the first place?  There's only one place they come from without being checked.. We stand up for liberties and civil rights also in the struggle against those who oppose them. Racism and xenophobia must never again be given any rein The British government is racist against English people yet the EU will do nothing about it.

We are committed to the peaceful resolution of conflicts in the world and to ensuring that people do not become victims of war, Terrorism and violence. The European Union wants to promote freedom and development in the world. We want to drive back poverty, hunger and disease. We want to continue to take a leading role in that fight. The EU is widely blamed for the continued poverty of much of the African continent through the Common Agricultural Policy

We intend jointly to lead the way in energy policy and climate protection and make our contribution to averting the global threat of climate change. THERE IS NO THREAT FROM CLIMATE CHANGE - GLOBAL WARMING ISN'T HAPPENING!


The European Union will continue to thrive both on openness and on the will of its Member States to consolidate the Union’s internal development. The European Union will continue to promote democracy, stability and prosperity beyond its borders. The EU can't manage democracy internally, let alone externally

With European unification a dream of earlier generations has become a reality We didn't agree to unification, we agreed to a common market. Our history reminds us that we must protect this for the good of future generations We must abolish it for the good of future generations. For that reason we must always renew the political shape of Europe in keeping with the times. That is why today, 50 years after the signing of the Treaties of Rome, we are united in our aim of placing the European Union on a renewed common basis before the European Parliament elections in 2009 BEFORE we have a chance to elect eurosceptic MEP's to put a stop to it.

For we know, Europe is our common future. The EU is our common enemy

The Wonko Declaration

Traitor Bliar is going to Berlin to sign the Berlin Declaration.

By signing the declaration he will commit us to the principle of a European Constitution, political union with EU member states and will declare that “we, the citizens of the European Union, have united for the better”.

I am not a citizen of the European Union, I do not want anything to do with Federal Europe and I most definitely do not agree that Europe has united for the better.  To that effect, I have written my own declaration – the Wonko Declaration:

We, the citizens of England, renounce any form of European citizenship.

We refuse to credit the European Union with the period of relative peace that has prevaled in Europe since the end of World War 2.

We pledge to resist the endless march towards “ever closer union” that is a core objective of the EU.

We will not accept regional government or any other form of regionalisation.

We will use ony the pound as our currency.

We will continue to use imperial measurements in defiance of the EU’s compulsory metrication programme.

We will continue to send eurosceptic MEP’s to the European Parliament.

We will continue to treat laws eminating from the EU with the contempt with which it deserves.

We, the citizens of England, are not – and will never be – “Europeans”.

Please leave a comment to “sign” the Wonko Declaration.


Cut your cloth Paisley

Ian Paisley has told the Tartan Taxman that the money he’s offering Northern Ireland isn’t enough.

Currently the Barnett Formula gives Northern Ireland an average of over £1,800 per head in central government funding straight from the English taxpayers pockets but this, Paisley claims, is not good enough.

Nor is the extra £1bn of English taxes that the Chancellor has pledged over an above the £35bn they have been allocated over the next 4 years.

The £1bn is being offered as a bribe to both sides to get them to agree to a devolution sttlement on the 26th March.  Peter Hain, the bigotted Northern Ireland Secretary, has also piled the pressure on with a promise to postpone a new law imposing water charges on Northern Ireland by 12 months as long as the devolution settlement is agreed to by the 26th.  The Scottish Raj has said that unless the settlement is agreed to they will dissolve the Stormont Assembly and maintain direct rule from Westminster.

Ethnic Monitoring in hospitals

The Healthcare Commission is calling for hospitals to monitor the ethnicity of patients because their research has shown that black and asians are more likely to be admitted to a mental hospital.

There doesn’t appear to be any suggestion that this is because of institutional racism or that black and asian patients are being targetted unfairly so I’m at a loss as to why the Healthcare Commission feels it necessary to monitor patients’ ethnicity.  Surely the only criteria that matter in assessing a patient for mental health care is whether they have mental problems, not what colour their skin is?

Gordon robs from the poor and gives to the Rich

The Tartan Taxman delivered what is likely to be – one way or the other – his last budget today.

I haven’t read everything in the budget but a couple of things jump out:

The 10p/£ lower tax rate has been abolished and replaced with the standard rate of the tax
Result: People on low incomes will pay more tax

The threshold for higher rate tax has been increased to £43,000 from 2009
Result: High earners will pay less tax

The 19% flat rate tax for small businesses has been raised to 22%
Result: Small businesses will pay more tax

Corporation Tax has been reduced by 2p/£
Result: Large corporations pay less tax

Fuel Duty is being increased by 2p in 6 months time
Result: People who rely on their cars (such as those who live in rural areas) will pay more to get about

Road Tax is being increased to £300 this year and £400 next year for new 4×4’s
Result: People who live in remote areas will pay more to get about

The NHS in England will get an “extra” £8bn funding
Result: The Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish NHS will get another £2bn between them as a result


I went to the dentist today.

Not very exciting but quite an achievement for me as I have a phobia of dentists.

Anyway, it’s the first time I’ve been to the dentist for about 9 years and she didn’t say “To be honest Mr Sane, it would be a lot let hassle if we just yanked the lot out” as I was expecting.  In fact, I’ve got off pretty lightly – I need a fair bit of work doing but it’s nothing particularly complicated … apart from the root canal filling.

And no, the nurse didn’t look like anything like the picture. 😉

Union is worth over £5k for each Scottish household

Traitor Blair has appealed to Scottish voters not to vote for the SNP in the May elections.

He tells the Scots that independence would cost every Scottish household over £5,000 per year because of their £11.9bn budget deficit.

Previous attempts to stop the SNP from taking control of the Scottish Parliament have centered around their dodgy maths and some vague, intangible “benefits” of the union.

The SNP think that an £11.9bn budget deficit minus £7bn of oil and gas revenues – a lot of which rightfully belongs to England – means they are running at a £3bn budget surplus and subsidising the rest of the UK.  The “benefits” of the union all seem to come under the umbrella of some mysterious thing called the “union dividend”.  The “union dividend” has thus far remained an unknown quantity (I guess it’s hard to be anything other than vague when there don’t appear to be many benefits of union) but Bliar has finally quantified it – a £5,000 per houshold subsidy from the English taxpayer.

It’s quite pathetic that the only reason the Prime Minister can actually come up with to preserve the union is an involuntary £11.3bn donation to the Scottish economy by the English taxpayer and his speech is little more than thinly veiled bribery.  In fact, it’s not even thinly veiled – it’s a bare-faced bribe – vote Liebour and your household gets 5 grand out of English taxes, vote SNP and you’ll have to find the extra 5 grand yourself.  Liebour have even revealed an election slogan – “Break up Britain, end up broke”.  You couldn’t make it up!

I wonder if Bliar will tell me how much breaking up Britain would cost every household in England.  If it’s going to cost 5 grand to every Scottish household (about 2 million of them) then there must be at least 2 million households elsewhere in the UK better off.  As Wales and Northern Ireland are also running at huge budget deficits that leaves … oh yes, England.

Oh the irony

Apologies for the poor quality picture, I only had my mobile phone to hand.

You can’t make out the words on the road sign that the car has crashed into but it’s one of the “Think!” signs that tells you to drive safely, complete with the number of accidents on that stretch of road.  Unfortunately, it was on the side of a busy dual carriageway at rush hour so I couldn’t get a decent picture.

And before anyone accuses me of schadenfreude or being an irresponsible opportunist or whatever, I did actually stop and walk over to the car to make sure that there was nobody hurt in it as I didn’t know how long it had been there and I phoned the police to make sure they were aware of it.  I only took the picture because it was too good an opportunity to pass up!