Archive for Sport

You wouldn’t bring a British flag to an England match … #Anthem4England

The rugby world cup has started so it’s time for the obligatory whinge about the English RFU using the British national anthem to represent England.

You wouldn’t bring a British flag to an England match so why would you sing the British national anthem?

You wouldn't take a British flag to an England match

Best. Photobomb. Ever.

Alex Salmond COSG photobomb

Commonwealth Games home nations update

We’re most of the way through day 9 of the Commonwealth Games and England are leaving the opposition for dust.

For a couple of days England and Australia were leapfrogging each other at the top of the table but England have pulled well into the lead with 43 gold medals to Australia’s 36.

Here are the all important standings for the home nations.

Country Gold Silver Bronze
England 43 38 38
Scotland 14 12 16
Wales 4 10 14
Northern Ireland 0 1 1
Isle of Man 0 1 0


England dominating the Commonwealth Games

I’ll never get tired of hearing the words “And now the national anthem of England“.

England are topping the Commonwealth Games medals table at the moment with 16 golds, closely followed by Australia. But the important question is how are we doing against the rest of the British Isles? The answer is, we’re thrashing them!

Country Gold Silver Bronze
England 16 12 12
Scotland 9 6 7
Wales 2 6 6
Isle of Man 0 1 0
Northern Ireland 0 0 1

Are we being prepared for a British rebranding of the English football team?

For years the BBC pursued a policy of denigrating England and suppressing any sense of English national pride or identity. They were eventually forced into changing their attitude towards England by a series of public embarrassments and criticisms that I’m proud to say I played a part in.

It seems that ITV have decided to fill the anti-English void left by the BBC directing marginally less hate towards England though. They have started conflating English and British like the BBC used to and promoting Britishness whilst portraying Englishness as something dirty an dangerous. Their coverage of England’s football matches this week shows the lengths they’ll go to to promote Britishness.

ITV British flag at England gameITV British flag at England game

There were hundreds of English flags in the crowd in the game against Ecuador on Wednesday but ITV managed to find an English flag with a union flag in the corner that they zoomed in on while the British national anthem was played for the English team before panning round the England fans and finally finishing on the flag again but zoomed out so you could see the whole thing.

If it was an isolated incident you could dismiss it as crap camera work but it happened again tonight before the Honduras game – they managed to find what must have been the only union flag amongst the thousands of English flags in the crowd to zoom in on while they played the British national anthem again.

If I was a suspicious person I might wonder if we were being prepared for a rebranding of the English team bearing in mind FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s well known opposition to an English team, the British government’s desire for a British football team and the FA’s willingness to run the Team GB football team for the Olympics despite the very sensible opposition from the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish FAs. I don’t trust the FA, I don’t trust the British government and I don’t trust FIFA. There is more to this than meets the eye.

England 1-0 Turkey (U19s)

England U19’s played Turkey tonight at AFC Telford United.  Turkey played well but they had too many actors and towards the end of the game they got a bit aggressive resulting in a yellow card and chants of “off, off, off” on a few occasions.  England played well too and ended up winning 1-0.  As a little bonus, you can just see Mrs Sane in the centrefold picture in the match programme from the England -v- Finland U21 game in November last year.

Dear Jim Telfer …


This …

England 38 -v- 18 Scotland

England 38 -v- 18 Scotland

… is why the English team are allowed to be arrogant.

England 1-0 Finland at AFC Telford United

AFC Telford United hosted an England -v- Finland U19’s match last night at the New Buck’s Head.  The whole family went along to watch England score a penalty with the last kick of the game to win 1-0.

There was some great play from these youngsters which makes me think there may be hope for the future of the English football team after all!

We were right on the centre line so we had a decent view throughout the game …

The all important penalty in the dying seconds of extra time …

Why I won’t be supporting Team GB or the Olympics

I don’t like the Olympics.  It’s not an irrational dislike of the Olympics or an ideological objection to the Olympic ideals, it’s for a number of (in my opinion) rational reasons …

Official Olympic Sponsor London 2012There is no English Olympic team and I’m not British.  For me the British Olympic team is as foreign as the French team.  Sure it’s mostly made up of English competitors but they’re competing under a false flag that I bear no more allegiance to than the Stars and Stripes or the Tricoleur.  There is nothing other than a lack of political will or corporate support preventing the replacement of the British team with English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish teams which, I suggest, would get far more support than the British Olympic team.  The precedent has been set with the Hong Kong team that is still competing in its own right despite having been subsumed into China in 1997.  Until such time as there is an English team in the Olympics, I will continue to shun the games.

The superficial Britishness that’s on display during the Olympics is really grating.  The imperial flag is everywhere and it’s even replacing the English flag at a lot homes which is something that no other British promotional activity has even managed to do in the last decade or two.  The proliferation of the imperial flag and public declarations of being “proud to be British” are the result of a relentless promotion of Britishness by the British government and big business who love having one brand covering four nations that they can promote instead of all that inconvenient respecting our historic nations and identities.

The amount of taxpayers money that’s being spent on this British vanity project is obscene.  I don’t know how many homeless, ill or deprived people could have been helped with just the £9bn direct cost of the Olympics let alone the billions more that have been spent by local authorities and public bodies but it’s a better use of taxpayers money than the Olympics.

The oppressive way the Olympic brand and the monopolies are being protected are an annoyance as well.  Why couldn’t the Olympic Kebab shop in London continue to be named the Olympic Kebab shop just as it has for years?  Why can’t schools use the Olympic rings on a poster produced by kids?  Why can’t a chip shop sell chips if the Olympics have moved in next door for a few weeks?  Why can’t you turn your wi-fi hotspot on on your mobile phone if you’re in an Olympic venue? Why are you forced to buy food and drink from approved suppliers? Why has the Olympics sold out so utterly and completely to corporate interests?

Why are politics allowed to interfere in the Olympics?  Why does Taiwan have to be called Chinese Taipei just because the Chinese like to bully their smaller neighbour?  If they’re offended by the name Taiwan being used screw them.  Why does Macedonia have to be called the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia just because the Greeks get all prissy about them using their country’s name in case some people see it as giving merit to the idea that Macedonia might have a claim to the Greek state by the same name even though they’ve expressed no interest in making such a claim?  If the Greeks don’t like it screw them too.

Why did the British government and LOCOG allow a bunch of French Language fascists dictate that the French language must be used in the Olympics and not only must it be used but it has to be used before English?  I don’t care whether it’s in the founding charter of the modern Olympics (the idea for which was nicked from the English by a Frenchman) says that French and English are the languages of the Olympics, the French have never insisted on the French language being used until London beat Paris to the right to host the Olympics – if was a deliberate, calculated insult aimed at Les Rosbeef.

While there is a British team it should be names properly.  Team GB doesn’t cut it – that name represents half of the constituent territories of the Olympic team.  Great Britain is a geographic term for the island on which England, Scotland and Northern Ireland reside.  Northern Ireland, the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man are also represented by Team “GB” but they’re not in Great Britain, they’re in the British Isles.  But so is the Republic of Ireland and they aren’t represented by Team “GB” so Team British Isles doesn’t cut it either.  The fact is, there is no short and snappy title for what Team “GB” covers because it’s just not a natural, historical or cultural entity.  The shortest accurate team name would be Team UK and Crown Dependencies.  I refer back to my earlier use of the word “superficial” – it applies equally here.

Finally, the most annoying thing about the Olympics: Seb Bloody Coe.  If ever there was a case for pre-emptive euthanasia, he surely has to be it?

£30m Olympics bribe for Scotland, Wales & NI

On Wednesday the British government finally announced the West Lothian Question commission that they promised over a year ago, yesterday they gave a practical demonstration of why it’s so desperately needed.

Olympic BribesScotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have negotiated a £30.2m bonus from the British government because the British government have spent money in London for the British Olympics.  No extra money will be spent in the rest of England where local authorities are facing cuts of about a quarter over the next few years.

The money is being handed over because of what is called Barnett Consequentials – the technical name for giving Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland a big wedge of cash just because the British government have spent some money in England.  Barnett Consequentials are part of the balancing mechanism to ensure Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland continue to get the same outrageous level of subsidy at England’s expense no matter how much capital investment the British spend in England.

Paying Barnett Consequentials because of the Olympics is a bloody liberty though because they’re not the English Olympics, they’re the British Olympics.  England doesn’t have a Olympic team and the British government’s investment in London is for their Olympics, not for London or for England.  Some of the facilities that are being built for the Olympics are going to be relocated to Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and some of the events are even being held in those countries.  They will “benefit” from the British Olympics as much as the rest of England.

The British government shouldn’t have paid any Barnett money to Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland for the British Olympics but there was nobody at the meeting representing English interests.  As a consequence (excuse the pun), £30.2m of English taxpayers’ money is going to be handed over to the Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish for no other reason than because the British spent some money in England for their Olympic vanity project.  This has only happened because there is no English government to represent English interests, saying “no, this is your Olympic games, we’re not paying your bribes”.

There are no details as yet on who will be on the West Lothian Commission, what they will consider and whether an English Parliament will be ruled out immediately or when they report in 2013.

Reward sports personalities for talent, not for having tits

Poor Harriet Harperson has got her unisex undergarments in a twist over the BBC Sports Personality of the Year panel not including any women in their shortlist of sports personalities.

Fran Matthews - England Rugby

No jokes about odd shaped balls please

The man-hating Shadow Minister for Equality and Women has demanded that the BBC include some women in the shortlist immediately and criticised the BBC for including the editors of lads mags in the panel.

The panel of newspaper and magazine editors from publications with an interest in sport chose the shortlist for the BBC and came up with the all-male list.

There are undoubtedly many fine sportswomen – Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington for instance or England women’s rugby player Fran Matthews who should surely win an award just for playing a brutal sport and managing to look pretty hot rather than like Fatima Whitbread.  But the panel chose an all-male shortlist and it’s not for a failed politician like Harriet Harperson to demand that their decision is overturned and the list stuffed with women in the name of equality.

The BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards are supposed to reward sportsmen and women for talent and hard work, not for having a pair of tits.

Team GB? Fuck no!

Team Britain? Fuck no!The British Olympic Committee have caused outrage in Scotland and Wales by lying in a press release announcing the FA’s (or the English FA as they should more accurately be known) unilateral decision to field an English football team as “Team GB” in the Olympics.

The BOA has claimed that an “historic agreement” has been reached to allow players from all four home nations to play in a GB football team but the Scottish and Welsh FAs have both released statements saying they have been part of no such agreements and they will not take part in “Team GB”.

No Team GB

There is very little support for a “Team GB” football team in the Olympics.  Support is pretty much restricted to British politicians in England, the English FA, the BOA and FIFA.  The corrupt President of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, has said on more than one occasion that there should only be one football team in the UK.   The fan associations of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are all opposed to the idea of a “Team GB” football team, the Scottish FA is opposed to the idea of a “Team GB” football team, the Welsh FA is opposed to the idea of a “Team GB” football team, the Northern Irish FA is opposed to the idea of a “Team GB” football team.  Which event has had the most unsold tickets for the 2012 Olympics?  Yep, football – nobody wants to see an English football team running round the pitch with union flags on their shirts.

England are out, support England

Well, that went will didn’t it?  For the first time ever I got up and walked out before an England game finished.  While England were making a half hearted attempt at trying to claw back a 3 goal deficit I was in the garden getting the BBQ started.

England flagsI notice that a couple of the part time patriots in my street have already taken down their flags, including the house behind us that put their flag up just before the game started and had already taken it down before the game finished.  By this time tomorrow the country will be purged of the flags the part time patriots have painstakingly bedecked their houses and cars with.

So, with England out, the question is who to support next and on the basis that I have a Dutch god daughter and they are the only country in Europe not to hate us with a passion, I will be supporting the Netherlands.  But unlike the part time patriots, my England flag will stay up.

England Expects …

… the linesman and referee to be able to bloody see!

England have gone back to the dressing rooms for half time 2-1 to Germany when the actual score is 2-2.

The linesman was a few yards from the corner, he should have been able to see the goal.  The referee was in the right position to see the goal, why didn’t he?  Capello, Beckham and Pearce could see it from the halfway line.  The fans could see it from the stands and were unimpressed judging by the chants of “the referee is a wanker”.

FIFA recently refused to have any kind of technology to adjudicate on goals – that position is surely untenable after the ridiculous decision to disallow England’s second goal.  Tennis has hawk eye which can see if a 2.7″ wide tennis ball travelling at 130mph is over the line, it would have no problems with a 28″ football at 30mph.  Rugby has a video judge and the game stops when there is a dispute so why not in the world cup?

I always knew Sepp Blatter was an arsehole, now he has the opportunity to show that he has some integrity.

Two World Wars and one World Cup

I would love England to win the World Cup but if – as seems likely – we don’t make it to the finals, the disappointment will be tempered somewhat as long as we give the Germans a damn good thrashing this afternoon.

England -v- Germany 1996

Blame Capello

Without wanting to sound like an armchair manager, what the fuck are you playing at Capello?

Seriously, the team is playing unbelievably badly and I’m afraid I have to lay the blame with Capello.  I normally defend managers when people criticise them because the 11 players on the pitch are supposed to be professionals and if tactics aren’t working they should use their initiative but in this case there are clearly no tactics to change.

The players are milling round the pitch, completely clueless.  They’re getting the ball and haven’t got a clue what to do with it.  The team is obviously suffering from having no time to practice together as a team because they don’t know who they’re going to be playing with until 2 hours before the game starts.

And why is Wayne Rooney still playing?  I really never thought I would say this but he’s a liability right now.  He’s worried about picking up an injury, he’s backing off from tackles and tonight he was limping at one point.  Rest him if that’s what he needs but he shouldn’t be playing if he’s not up to the job.

This is a local mascot for local people

The Fortean Times merrily pointed out this morning on Twitter that the Olympic mascots “appear to be Cyclops-eyed, pincer-handed aliens“.

He may not be Prime Minister any more but we just can’t get away from El Gordo.

Anyway, what about those mascots, eh?  Very shiny, and bit angry looking and just a little bit phallic (in-keeping with the theme set by the Lisa Simpson blowjob logo).  But I can forgive their inadequacies somewhat because one of them is names after my home town.

I grew up in Much Wenlock and quite frankly the town makes very little of the fact that the modern Olympics probably wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Dr William Penny Brookes and his Wenlock Olympian Games.  Having the mascot named after the town might just be the kick up the arse they need to start making the effort to capitalise on the Olympic connection.

That said, the town council did ask the International Olympic Committee for permission a few years ago to put the Olympic rings logo on the signs at the entrance to the town but they were turned down.  Now might be an opportune moment to ask again.

The organisers of the London Olympics reckon they can raise £15m peddling Wenlock and Mandeville tat.  I’m not convinced they’re going to make much money out of merchandising although they do bear more than a passing resemblance to Crazy Bones which might earn them a few quid from special editions.

Unsurprisingly, the mascots have already been extensively photoshopped.  The chav one is my favourite.

Well, that’s about all you can expect on the great white Olympic elephant from me.  Waste of money and no English team, what is there to interest me other than the connection with the town I grew up in?  Oh, and if anyone wants a guided tour of Wenlock from a local, I’m available for a small fee. 😉

Anyone but Murray

Andy “Anyone but England” Murray is looking worryingly close to winning his first ever grand slam in Australia.

If he wins, life will be unbearable for those of us who can’t stand the tantrum-throwing, anti-English, second rate Scottish tennis player.

The BBC will devote its entire schedule to the life and times of Andy Murray, the Sun will lead the campaign for him to be given a knighthood, No Mandate Brown will declare a “Murray Day” public holiday in England to celebrate.

But there is still hope.  Using the power of positive thought we could influence the result.  Send out positive thoughts of Andy Murray crashing to a humiliating defeat throughout the day and it could make the difference.  It works for Uri Geller!

Alternatively, there’s always the tried and tested voodoo doll idea.

Come on Andy …

… Roddick.


Can you imagine how unbearable it would be if Miserable Murray won Wimbledon?  The 2 hour documentaries and clip shows the BBC will be showing for months afterwards, the knighthood for services to Scottish British tennis, El Gordo gurning his congratulations in Parliament.

God, it doesn’t bear thinking about.  Best get those voodoo dolls ready.

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Setanta goes bust, Liverpool to follow?

Setanta went into administration today owing £3m to the Scottish Premier League and £30m to the English Premier League.

The Scottish Premier League is looking for a new buyer for £125m of broadcasting rights for the next 4 years and the English Premier League is looking to offload the rest of the matches Setanta had already won the rights to after ESPN took the 45 games that would have been on Setanta next season.

Good.  Serves the greedy bastards right.  £125m for 4 years of what is, to be perfectly honest, amateur football?  They’re taking the piss.  And the English Premier League are really taking the piss.  They may be some of the world’s best football teams but they’re partly responsible for Setanta running out of cash through their greed.

Liverpool are desperately trying to refinance their £350m of debt to avoid bankruptcy with an announcement that RBS have virtually guaranteed to refinance their share of Liverpool’s debt coming on the same day that they announced a £17.5m transfer for Portsmouth’s Glen Johnson.  How can they even contemplate spending £17.5m for a player when they could be days away from going into administration?  The future of their LiverpoolTV channel – a lucrative source of income – is also in doubt as it was being shown exclusively on Setanta and they haven’t got anyone else to broadcast it.

The English Premier League and Premiership clubs have been pissing money up the wall thinking the amount of money involved is just too big for their pyramid scheme to collapse.  Guess what.  It’s not.

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