Archive for April 2007

Global Warming strikes in Kent

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the richter scale struck Kent this morning.

The quake is the strongest to strike England since the earthquake in Dudley in 2002 which several thousand pence worth of damage.

Electricity supplies were interrupted and some homes had to be evacuated due to structual damage.

So what’s with the title?  Didn’t you know global warming causes earthquakesSad isn’t it?

Who wants to be a millionaire? Zimbabweans don’t!

The Zimbabwean Dollar – revalued Making a $1,000 note worth $1 for example at least once – is now standing at almost ZWN$500 to the pound.  Inflation has jumped to 2,200% in the last month alone.

Before the Zimbabwean Dollar was revalued, a toilet roll cost over $145,000 which was the equivalent of about 45p.

The average gross national income of a Zimbabwean is £170 per year and life expectency is down to just 37 years old for both males and females.  Unemployment is estimated at around 80%.

Hat-tip: Daily Referendum

Whose oil is it anyway?

The Tartan Taxman is adhering faithfully to Labour’s new policy of reminding Scots how much they stand to lose financially if they cut the English purse strings.

He’s told the SNP that they can’t have it both ways – if they claim all the revenues from north sea oil and gas (including English oil and gas that was donated to Scotland without our permission) then they can’t have all the money from the Barnett Formula.

The SNP’s screwy maths leads them to think that the oil and gas is worth almost a billion a month in revenues when it’s actually £7bn which is £4.3bn short of the amount English taxpayers subsidise them by and presumably why Gorodn Brown is saying they can’t have all the money they currently get under the Barnett Formula rather than telling the scrounging subsidy junkies that they can’t have anything.

Petition the PM: No EU Constitution

If you do nothing else today, sign this petition calling on the Prime Minister to refrain from signing any agreement to create a new European Union treaty without first holding a referendum to ascertain the opinion of the British public.

Tesco boss supporting the union

The boss of Tesco has come out “fighting” for the union claiming that the earth will fall of its axis, a pox will fall upon us all and our children will all be eaten by mutant polar bears who have flown south for the summer if the SNP wins the Scottish Parliament elections on May 3rd.

Ok, I may have made up some of that but you get the gist.

Would it surprise you to learn that the boss of Tesco is an old friend of Tony Bliar and Scottish?  No?  Me either.

Telford is in the midlands and the main Tesco store here has a Scottish version of most of their own-brand products sitting next to “British” versions.  Tesco have already admitted that anything with a British flag on is English but refuse to put the English flag on.

Even if the SNP don’t win control of the Scottish Parliament, as they say in Tesco – every little helps.

Who’s celebrating St George?

I’m off to the pub shortly for a St Georges Day drink with a colleague, I’ve taken the day off work and we’re having a BBQ later.

The Monty Python’s Spamalot the Musical is attempting to break the world record for the largest coconut orchestra in the world.

Staff at Lion Insulation in Kent have been given the day off work for St Georges Day by their patriotic boss.

Google have, yet again, failed to change their logo to the St Georges Day logo they used a couple of years ago.

The BBC still haven’t changed the comment on their poll page.

I’ve been to my local Somerfields, the library and my kids school and there’s nothing – not so much as an English flag in sight.

Absolutely no effort from Somerfields or the council …

Happy St Georges Day

SNP looking at a convincing victory

According to both YouGov and Populus, the SNP are looking at a comfortable victory in the Scottish Parliament elections on May 3rd.

UK Polling Report, a YouGov spin-off, says that the last time a poll showed anything other than an SNP win was November last year.

Worst case, SNP has a 4% lead over Liebour; best case, a 7% lead.

BBC St Georges Day poll

There is a poll on the BBC News website asking if St Geroges Day should be a public holiday or not.

The poll currently stands at 85.78% in favour with 4,994 votes.

However, it wouldn’t be the BBC without a bit of anti-English bias – despite 4,280 votes in favour of a St Georges Day public holiday, out of all the comments they received the only one worthy or publishing and most representative of public opinion was …

Why do we need to celebrate dimwitted pursuits such as patriotism?


Stand aside, I’m coming in

The Centre for Policy Studies has produced a new booklet detailing the 266 ways that agents of the state can legally enter your home without your permission.

There are some interesting ones to watch out for …

  • When blogging about politics it is important that you comply with the EC Fertilisers (England and Wales) Regulations 2006 which allows an agent of the state entry to your property to supervise your use of fertilisters – such as bullshit.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £5,000.
  • Anyone doing business with a country that America doesn’t like needs to be aware that HM Revenue & Customs are able to enter your property to search for evidence of trade with Al-Qa’ida or the Taliban.
  • Make sure you check your pockets before doing the washing because if you’re suspected of laundering money (yes, I know it’s a crap joke) an agent of the state is entitled to enter your property with a warrant to search for evidence of an infringement of EC Money Laundering Regulations 2003.
  • If you’ve been letting your garden get a bit unruly over the winter then watch out for a DEFRA agent knocking on your door under the Weeds Act which allows him to enter your property to check for the presence of virulent weeds on the instructions of the Millibeast.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £1,000.
  • If you own a bit of land in a growing town that your local unelected regional development agency wants to build houses on you must allow an agent access to your property so they can decide whether to compulsary purchase it.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £1,000.
  • Despite reassurances from the Valuation Office Agency, agents of your local authority have the power to enter your property for the purposes of council tax valuations under the Local Government Finance Act 1992.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £500.
  • Interesting rock formation in your back garden?  The Natural Environment Research Council has the power to enter your property to survey your land under the Geological Survey Act 1845.  Obstruction can result in a fine of up to £20.
  • Under the Gas Act 1965 an agent of the state has the power to enter your property to discover any underground site suitable for the storage of gas.  Obstruction can result in a £200 fine.
  • Married to someone in the Armed Forces?  Don’t try and encourage them to leave the forces or the police can enter your property to search for evidence under the Incitement to Disaffection Act 1934 that you are encouraging a member of the Armed Forces to resign.
  • Does your book collection contain anything that denies the existence of god or questions the bible?  Then an agent of the state can enter your property under the Criminal Libel Act 1819 to sieze blasphemous material.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Hat-tip: An Englishmans Castle

Twat of the Week nominations

Please send your nominations for Twat of the Week using the contact form below or in the comments …


Latest Poll shows 67% support English Parliament

An ICM poll commissioned by the Campaign for an English Parliament shows support for an English Parliament is at 67% (press release).

The poll shows that support in the North of England is highest at 70% and in Scotland, 72% of people polled support the establishment of an English Parliament.

The results show that there is broad support for an English Parliament across all demographics.

The British government still refers to a survey conducted between 1999 and 2003 which showed 24% support for an English Parliament.  The survey, however, had multiple options – regional government, English Parliament, the status quo and English votes on English matters.  It’s hardly surprising that this old survey came up with a split vote.

It’s time the British government stopped using this old survey as an excuse to deny us what we want and took notice of all the polls conducted in the last couple of years, all of which show majority support for an English Parliament.

November 2006
68% support an English Parliament

January 2007
61% support an English Parliament

April 2007
67% support an English Parliament

To put these results into context: the Welsh Assembly was established following a referendum in which only 50% of Welsh people voted and only 51% wanted it.  If 25.5% of Welsh voters supporting a Welsh Assembly is the settled will of the Welsh people then why can’t we have our own parliament with 67% support?

Deluded? Moi?

I had a revelation today only to be told by a colleague that I’m possibly slightly deluded.

My suggestion was that Tony Bliar being elected in 1997 was part of a deliberate plot by the illuminati to piss me off.  Now this isn’t mere conjecture.  Everything Tony Bliar does I find personally offensive.  Everything he says fills me with rage.  Just the sight of him on TV makes me shout at the TV.  Just knowing that he’s breathing is enough to wind me up.  It can’t be a co-incidence can it?

So what has Chairman Bliar done to piss me off in the last couple of days?  Other than breathing of course.  How about the EU constitution for a starter?

Last year, when the European Federation proposed establishing an EU Constitution which would give our masters on the continent even more of our sovereignty, Bliar said that we would have a referendum.  The French and Dutch held a referendum and and, in a pretty shocking result for two of the most europhile countries in the EU, they rejected it.  Bliar cancelled the referendum and declared the constitution dead.

Great, except it’s not.  Bliar is now involved in a push to get a treaty signed this year to establish an EU constitution.  Will we be getting the referendum we were promised seeing as how the reason for cancelling it was a crock of shit?  Will we buggery.  It’s a slimmed down version, it’s no longer a major treaty so there’s no need for a referendum.  That’s what the traitor says.  Of course it’s bloddy well trimmed down – the illiberal, crooked eurfederalist shitbags in Brussels have already got most of it in on the sly with lots of smaller treaties and directives.  There’s very little left to go in it.

I want the referendum I was promised Bliar.  That or your head on a platter.  Either way I demand satisfaction.

Maybe this will help?

Seeing as how St George is under threat once again from the sandals and socks brigade, perhaps this might help …

Our patron, who art in England, St George be thy name, thy kingdom come, England will become, devolved as it is in Scotland.
Give us this day a hospital bed, and forgive those who discriminate against us.
Break us not into regions, but deliver us from Labour.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.

Are you taking a St Georges Day holiday on Monday?
Free polls from

Littlejohn tells it how it is

An bunch of god-botherers and navel-gazing, beared, lentil eating, hemp wearing lefty liberal apologists have decided that St George is just too offensive and needs to be reinvented so that he’s more inclusive.

A report called “When The Saints Go Marching Out: Redefining St George For A New Era” says:

“It is time that St George was reclaimed from the dragon, from past associations with racism and the far right, and from images of arrogant flag-waving”

The racism accusation is probably two-fold (it doesn’t say).  Firstly, the BRITISH National Party often fly the flag of St George.  The BNP are racist, therefore anyone who has an English flag is – by association – also a racist with a shaved head and a combat jacket.  There aren’t any calls to remove the Union Flag – part of their logo – from Buckingham Palace but lefties aren’t exactly noted for their logic skills.  Secondly, St George is associated with the Crusades.  Two thousand years ago, muslim invaders occupied the Holy Land putting non-muslims to death and generally making a nuisance of themelves.  Christian Crusaders from across Europe went to the Holy Land to fight the invaders and reclaim the Holy Land.  This is, of course, racist and deeply offensive to muslims who are still suffering from the Crusades 2,000 years on.  Gosh, I’m so ashamed to be white and English.

The report suggests that St Georges Day should be a:

“day of dissent” – celebrating “the pro- democracy Putney Debates, the equality-seeking Levellers, the anti-slavery abolitionists, the women’s suffrage movement, conscientious objectors and peacemakers, anti-racism campaigners, human rights activists and those struggling against debt and poverty”

Day of dissent?  Sounds good to me.  Putney Debates?  Let me just check Wikipedia … oh right, some constitutional debates from when Oliver Cromwell overthrew the monarchy and established a fundamentalist Christian dictatorship in England.  Actually, I suppose that’s quite relevant to modern-day England.  Levellers?  Weren’t they a band in the 70s?  I think perhaps they’re referring to the Levellers who were also involved in Cromwell’s civil war.  Are the Church planning another revolution perhaps?  Anti-slavery, womens suffrage, conscientious objectors, peacemakers, anti-racism, human rights and global poverty?  What has that got to do with being English?

Richard Littlejohn has written an excellent piece on this – take a look.

Personally, I will be celebrating St Georges Day with a day off work, a BBQ and a pint of Bombadier with a like-minded colleague.  Most of the pubs in Telford have English flags out all year round but some of them have got in English beers and are doing other things on Monday.  The council haven’t organised anything of course, they’re too busy finding new regional projects to sign up to so they can speed up the abolition of England.

Ethnic quotas for Police

I was making the kids lunches this morning half-watching BBC Breakfast and they had a Sikh and a black guy on the sofa talking about the police.

I turned it up expecting to hear some claptrap about how the police are institutionally racist for picking on the minority groups responsible for the largest proportion of violent crime per capita but it was something else this time.

It started off ok with the Sikh guy quite happy to accept that he had been refused a job with the police because he failed one of the tests – a former colleague of mine applied 3 times before passing all the tests.  Then the black guy, the chairman of the Black Police Officers Association or some such organisation, started calling for quotas to be introduced because only 7% of police officers come from black and ethnic minorities.

He doesn’t appear to have contemplated the possibility that black and ethnic minority people don’t want to join the police, an oversight that seems to have extended to the BBC who never seem to think of asking that question.

The black guy went on to say that in areas where there are a lot of black and ethnic minority people they need more minority officers because they can understand the culture and language better than white officers.  At this point the Sikh sitting next to him asked him if he was advocating black people being policed by black people and white people policed by white people.  He didn’t get a chance to answer because they conveniently ran out of time but that seems to be what he’s asking for.

So what do you think?  Should quotas be applied to artificially bump up the number of minority police officers?  Should black and asian people be policed primarily by black and asian officers?

Ethnic quotas in the Police?
Quotas should be applied
Quotas shouldn’t be applied
Minorities should be policed mainly by minority officers
Minorities should be policed by any officers
Free polls from

Points system for immigrants

The Home Office is to introduce a system of points for immigration from next year.

Under the scheme, highly skilled would-be immigrants would get enough points to be allowed to come into the country unsponsored.  Those without useful skills will still be allowed into the country but will need a sponsor.

This won’t, of course, apply to EU citizens so the British government will still be powerless to prevent entire villages of unskilled Polish immigrants coming into the country.

Only 3 countries have elections in BBCland

The Biased Broadcasting Corporation always deny that they are anti-English.  They have a BBC Scotland, BBC Wales and BBC Northern Ireland.  They have a BBC English Regions which is making an increasing amount of BBC2’s programmes but there is no BBC England.

There’s an election in May, you might have heard mention of it.  The BBC have launched their Election 07 blogs: Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

It looks like there are only 3 countries having elections in BBCland.


The Conswervative Party has a Welsh manifesto for the Welsh Assembly elections in May.  It also has a Scottish manifesto for the Scottish Parliament elections.  The same goes for the Liebour Party and the Lib Dums.

There is one national party that has an English manifesto – UKIP.

Cameron doesn’t want to be Prime Minister of England

David Cameron doesn’t want to be Prime Minister of England, he says:

“I want to be prime minister of the United Kingdom. I don’t want to be prime minister of England. It would be easier in some ways [to give up on Scotland]. But I think it’s rather a small, narrow politics to try to draw a line around where you have your strongest supporters.”

Well Dave, that’s easily arranged.  You’re doing a fantastic job of alienating every voter in England – you know, the only people who vote Conservative.