May the fire of socialism burn inside you as strong as the cars and shops your friends will be setting on fire today.
Technorati Tags: May Day

A few weeks ago I asked what the apocalyptic non-event of the next decade would be.
It was a close race right up until a few days ago but there is now a clear winner:

The four “other” were:

An as yet unknown disease will sweep the world
New feudalism
English nationalism continues to rise, threating the existence of the […]

In the poll asking if gingers should be drowned at birth, 10 people said yes and 5 said no.  In view of this overwhelming support for the erradication of gingers, what should be done about the existing gingers?  I discussed this with my ginger colleague to gauge the views of the ginger community and he […]

In today’s Birmingham Post … 

Blind are targeted with leaflet campaign
BLIND and partially-sighted Sandwell people and their carers are to be targeted in a year-long leaflet campaign offering help.
The project has been launched amid fears people with varying eyesight conditions are unaware of the assistance available to them.
Polly Kaur, who is leading the campaign for Sandwell’s […]

Technorati Tags: Funny, Poll

The following safety warning was found last night inside a christmas cracker:
Safety Warning
These crackers are for adult use only and not suitable for children under 5 years of age as they may contain a functional sharp point of edge, or small parts, which may constitute a choking hazrd. 
Did I mention that the warning was inside […]

Shopping with Mrs Sane yesterday, we popped into the Entertainer.  I couldn’t help laughing at the message on the box …

Technorati Tags: Funny, Superman, Translation

Fresh milk is good for you right?  Good for your bones, good for your health in general and it tastes good.  I could drink gallons of the stuff if it wasn’t for the fact we already get through 5 or 6 pints a day as it is!
So why are the British government aiming to replace […]

Just in case anyone was wondering where Wankistan was …

Technorati Tags: Wankistan, England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland

Read this and it’ll all become clear …
Dim oBalls(1) As Object
Set oBalls(0) = LeftTestical
Set oBalls(1) = RightTestical
If oBalls(1).Left < ScrotalArea.Width / 2 Then
   oRightHand.Top = oBalls(0).Top + oBalls(0).Height
   oRightHand.Left = oBalls(0).Left
   Call CupHand(True)
   oRightHand.Left = oBalls(0).Left + ((ScrotalArea.Width / 2) + (ScrotalArea.TwipsPerPube * 10))
   Call CupHand(False)
   Call MsgBox(”Ahh, much better!”, vbOkOnly + vbExclamation, “Balls Moved”)
Else
  […]

Illiberal Dumbasscrat blog, Quaequam, is attempting to explain why an English Parliament is bad and why English people should submit to having their nationality and national identity abolished and their country broken up and lost forever.
This one is particularly entertaining in that the author really does seem to believe his somewhat bizarre claims, the most bizarre […]

A week or so ago, Quentin Davies defected from the Tories citing spin as one of the reasons he had changed from being a lifelong Conswervative to being a lifelong Liebour supporter.
It’s a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire for flip-flop Quentin whose carefully orchestrated defection was planned to the […]

Boris Johnson was interviewed for GQ Magazine by Piers “Sleaze Monkey” Morgan and Iain Dale has posted an exceprt.
Can you imagine Boris Johnson as Prime Minister?  Yes!  Politicians take themselves and politics far too seriously sometimes - Boris would be a breath of fresh air and amazingly popular Prime Minister.  He’s a walking diplomatic incident but […]

Imagine the scene … a local council in the West Midlands decides the best way to deliver services to taxpayers is to set up a private limited company that doesn’t have to comply with the Freedom of Information Act and can operate in secrecy because of “commercial interests”.  They can throw vast sums of money […]

Apologies for the poor quality picture, I only had my mobile phone to hand.
You can’t make out the words on the road sign that the car has crashed into but it’s one of the “Think!” signs that tells you to drive safely, complete with the number of accidents on that stretch of road.  Unfortunately, it […]

Oh dear, Councillor Piper has been a naughty boy.  A very naughty boy in fact.
Bob has been very vocal about the BNP councillor elected in Sandwell in the past.  Vocal to the point of presiding over his own personal witch-hunt but now he’s found himself in trouble with the Commission for Racial Equality over a […]

My 2 year old daughter, Sophie: “Can I take my jumper off Dad?”
Me: “No”
Sophie: “Please Daddy”
Me: “No, it’s rude”
Sophie: “I’ll cry”
Me: “No”
Sophie: “Please, I’ll be sad”

I have received an email this afternoon from a reader in the Czech Republic who is experiencing that age-old problem, where does one purchase quality owl magnets?
Dear Wonko,
I have just been reading your Defra Wiki and found it both engaging and full of informationativeness. I would very much like to try builing a scale model of […]

The Russian mafia have come across a revised version of the new Tory logo due to be release before the local elections in North Britain next year.  The logo is thought to have been leaked by a junior officer within the Tory Party.
Seems like I was right*:

* This is made up

Dark Heretic suggests a new Labour logo …

Boris Johnson really does make me laugh, I think he’s brilliant.  If there’s another leadership campaign before the next election Boris has got to be a vote winner.
Boris is in a spot of bother again though.  It seems that he’s offended the Papua New Guineans by saying that they’re into canibalism and chief killing.  Canibalism […]

A cyclist was fined here in Telford a couple of weeks ago for inconsiderate riding.  He was riding down the road at 20mph and causing cars to slow down because the road had solid white lines down the middle (for those that don’t know, that means no overtaking).  The judge said that he should have used […]