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Archive for the 'Funny' Category

10 Jan

Five more years of hurt?

The Tory MP, Eric Pickles, is saying on Twitter that No Mandate Brown has told the News of the World that he will stay on for a full term if Liebour is re-elected in this year’s general election.
So that’s 5 more reasons not to vote for Liebour when Bottler Brown eventually calls an election.
Just as [...]

06 Jan

Gordy, Gordy, Gordy! Out, out, out!

Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt, both former Ministers, have written an open letter to all Liebour MPs calling for a secret ballot on No Mandate Brown’s leadership of the party.
They say the party is “deeply divided” and that the question of McBroon’s leadership needs to be “sorted out once and for all”.
The Liebour Party is [...]

09 Jul

Finger Licking Expert

We went to KFC the other night.  The chicken was great, of course, as you would expect from KFC.  Must be the battery farmed, force-fed chickens.
Anyway, I noticed that they’ve all got new name badges with new job titles such as “Front Till Expert” and “Window Till Expert”.  In fact, every name badge I saw [...]

03 Jul

Eco-terrorists convicted

The 29 eco-terrorists that stopped a coal train going into the Drax power station have been convicted of obstructing the train and sentenced to community service.
Back in September a group of hippy freaks from Greenpeace broke into Kingsnorth power station and caused £30k of damage.  They got away with it because they convinced a judge [...]

02 Jul

We are not amused

One of my spies tells me that the council took the £75 fine I sent to them for leaving my bins in the road to a meeting with their contractor, TWS.
Apparently TWS thought it was funny but the council weren’t amused and told them to sort it out.  Needless to say, my bins were put [...]

19 Jun

What’s good for the goose …

Some people accuse me of being a piss-taker, how can they say such things?

This will be in the post today. Technorati Tags: Telford, Wheelie Bins, Fixed Penalty

13 Jun

Mumbai Calling

Just watching the very excellent new ITV drama, Mumbai Calling.  Tonight’s episode guest stars Richard E. Grant …
Now, for instance, if someone speaks to you like this:
“I don’t like you, I deep fry my breakfast and give cigarettes to my children”
… they are called Scottish people who have no appreciation for the touring theatre and [...]

04 Jun

Job Advert of the year

This job advert was in the Shropshire Star tonight.  It was so unusual, I had to give it a public airing …
Glue pot wanted.
Will live in the Wrexham area and work from home.
Will be computer literate and attractive personality with a flair for organising and acting as part time secretary, dogsbody, research assistant, admin manager, [...]

11 May

MestupCard

Inspired by Toque …

Technorati Tags: No Mandate Brown, English Parliament, MestupCard

04 May

Support the PM petition again

The Number 10 petitions team have obviously got bored of trying to filter out the joke names from the Support the PM petition.
After the list got to about 170 signatures, most of which I saved for prosperity, they took out all the spam and were left with … 7 names.  Oh dear.
There have been a [...]

28 Apr

Another petition to sign

The petition calling on El Gordo to resign now has over 25k signatures.
But it’s spawned another petition calling for him to carry on leading our great country which I would urge you to sign.  I don’t imagine the petition will be there for long so I’ll list the names below …

Brad Owen
john fisk
Ashie
Joy Wendy Endcomes
Andrew [...]

08 Mar

Bloggers4UKIP: Erm … nice logo

No, this isn’t the new UK Fuel logo for a new type of eco-friendly power station, it’s the logo of the United Kingdom First Party.
The motto of the UK First Party is “Country before self” – a rallying call for fascists everywhere, very Musollini-esque.
Fascism is a radical, authoritarian nationalist ideology that aims to create a [...]

06 Mar

Hahahahahaha

Normally I’m all for depriving environmentalists of oxygen but the lentil eating hippy that did this to Mandelson deserves her five minutes of fame.  Then she needs to be deprived of oxygen.

Technorati Tags: Peter Mandelson, Custard

07 Feb

Jeremy Clarkson Strikes Again

Good old Jeremy Clarkson, he always manages to get himself into trouble.  He’s got a long way to go before he can challenge Boris Johnson or Prince Phillip for the top spot but he’s a solid contender.
This time he’s offended blind people, disabled people and Scottish people by calling El Gordo a one-eyed Scottish idiot.
It’s [...]

07 Dec

Licence to print money

From the Daily Mash, via the ginger one:

Technorati Tags: Daily Mash, Funny

28 Nov

RBS shares marginally less popular than Gary Glitter

I know it’s hard to believe but it appears that being a Scottish bank hasn’t, as previously thought, been a good enough reason for investors to plough their life savings into a bankrupt Royal bank of Scotland. Go figure.
RBS had another bumper rights issue as part of the deal with the devil Alistair Darling [...]

18 Nov

Oh dear, oh dear

Please try not to laugh, this is deadly serious.
Someone has leaked the BNP’s membership list and posted it on the internet.
Some BNP members are less than please judging by the comments on one BNP blog. Some of them are unhappy because they’re ashamed of their membership and have been outed and some are understandably worried [...]

17 Oct

Three different letters, three different papers!

Well, what a bumper day this has been for letters.
First of all there’s this one in the Shropshire Star, in response to the council announcing that they’re going to put in average speed cameras on one of the safest roads, relatively speaking, in the borough:

Average speed trap not fair for motorists
Councillor Bentley wants average speed [...]

17 Oct

Only in America …

… could someone not only consider suing god but actually manage to get a judge to hear the case.
Senator Ernie Chambers of Nebraska brought a law suit against god to get a permanent injunction to prevent “death, destruction and terrorisation” caused by him.
He says he has done it to expose the ridiculous legal system in [...]

22 Sep

You can’t make stuff like this up …

Just looking for some information on a recent event held by Telford & Wrekin Council and came across the Leisure, Culture and Tourism page.
First thing I noticed was the missing comma in the title so it reads “Leisure Culture and Tourism”. It’s just a little thing but without the comma the title means something [...]

14 Sep

Learnign to speel

I just took #4 to bed and read a book with her. It was a simple book – One Apple, Two Ducks, that kind of thing. Normally she’d have something with a bit more of a plot but I’m trying to teach her to read.
Anyway, she did well reading out the letters and [...]

13 Sep

Dirty European Shithead

This should brighten your day up – a whole page dedicated to insults meted out at the illiterate eurofederalist commie retard, Dirty European Spunkmonkey Socialist.
I just happened to mention, in passing, to the ginger one that it would be funny if all the insults he’s had were collated in one place and lo and behold, [...]

29 Aug

Economics Explained

Naughty Bob Piper gives us an explanation of economics:
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and [...]

14 Aug

How to make a stupid idea stupider

Birmingham City Council has sent a leaflet to 720,000 households to thank them for helping them hit their recycling targets early.
Printing 720,000 colour leaflets and posting them to every household is a pretty stupid thing to do in itself – it cost the taxpayer £15k and how many of those leaflets will end up being [...]

08 Aug

Funny

Courtesy of Tommy English
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman drinking beer in a country pub.
That night as they are leaving a huge truck thunders through main street and kills all three!
The next day the publican is surprised to see the Englishman walk back into his pub.
The Englishman tells him that yes, all three of [...]

27 Jun

Tories take Henley, BNP beat Liebour

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – nobody stands a chance of winning a by-election but the Conswervative at the moment.
John Howell took 56.95% of the vote and ended up with nearly a 10,000 vote majority.
Liebour came fifth and lost his deposit, being beaten by the Illiberal Dumbocrats, the Green Party and [...]

23 May

Chelsea who?

I saw this outside the toilet door at work and had to take a picture.  Inspired.

Technorati Tags: John Terry, Funny

19 May

It’s not looking good for Gordo

Following yesterday’s revelation in the press that Liebour is on the brink of bankruptcy, I did some digging of my own.
According to the list of loans at the Electoral Commission’s website, Liebour has almost £13m of loans due for repayment this year.
It also transpires that in quarter 4 of last year, even the Illiberal Dumbocrats [...]

12 May

They don’t like it up ‘em!

Ian Taylor, a builder from Gloucestershire, has cut his car in half with and angle grinder rather than let wheel clamping bandits, NCP, take his car away.
He bought a knackered old Fiesta for his son but it was beyond economical repair so he declared it off-road and parked it on his drive while he waited [...]

01 May

To all my left wing readers …

May the fire of socialism burn inside you as strong as the cars and shops your friends will be setting on fire today.
Technorati Tags: May Day

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