Archive for the 'Funny' Category
10 Jan
The Tory MP, Eric Pickles, is saying on Twitter that No Mandate Brown has told the News of the World that he will stay on for a full term if Liebour is re-elected in this year’s general election.
So that’s 5 more reasons not to vote for Liebour when Bottler Brown eventually calls an election.
Just as [...]
Posted in Funny, Labour by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
06 Jan
Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt, both former Ministers, have written an open letter to all Liebour MPs calling for a secret ballot on No Mandate Brown’s leadership of the party.
They say the party is “deeply divided” and that the question of McBroon’s leadership needs to be “sorted out once and for all”.
The Liebour Party is [...]
Posted in Funny, Labour by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
09 Jul
We went to KFC the other night. The chicken was great, of course, as you would expect from KFC. Must be the battery farmed, force-fed chickens.
Anyway, I noticed that they’ve all got new name badges with new job titles such as “Front Till Expert” and “Window Till Expert”. In fact, every name badge I saw [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
03 Jul
The 29 eco-terrorists that stopped a coal train going into the Drax power station have been convicted of obstructing the train and sentenced to community service.
Back in September a group of hippy freaks from Greenpeace broke into Kingsnorth power station and caused £30k of damage. They got away with it because they convinced a judge [...]
Posted in Climate Change, Funny by: wonkotsane
No Comments
02 Jul
One of my spies tells me that the council took the £75 fine I sent to them for leaving my bins in the road to a meeting with their contractor, TWS.
Apparently TWS thought it was funny but the council weren’t amused and told them to sort it out. Needless to say, my bins were put [...]
Posted in Funny, Telford by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
19 Jun
Some people accuse me of being a piss-taker, how can they say such things?
This will be in the post today. Technorati Tags: Telford, Wheelie Bins, Fixed Penalty
Posted in Funny, Telford by: wonkotsane
6 Comments
13 Jun
Just watching the very excellent new ITV drama, Mumbai Calling. Tonight’s episode guest stars Richard E. Grant …
Now, for instance, if someone speaks to you like this:
“I don’t like you, I deep fry my breakfast and give cigarettes to my children”
… they are called Scottish people who have no appreciation for the touring theatre and [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
6 Comments
04 Jun
This job advert was in the Shropshire Star tonight. It was so unusual, I had to give it a public airing …
Glue pot wanted.
Will live in the Wrexham area and work from home.
Will be computer literate and attractive personality with a flair for organising and acting as part time secretary, dogsbody, research assistant, admin manager, [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
11 May
Inspired by Toque …
Technorati Tags: No Mandate Brown, English Parliament, MestupCard
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
No Comments
04 May
The Number 10 petitions team have obviously got bored of trying to filter out the joke names from the Support the PM petition.
After the list got to about 170 signatures, most of which I saved for prosperity, they took out all the spam and were left with … 7 names. Oh dear.
There have been a [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
28 Apr
The petition calling on El Gordo to resign now has over 25k signatures.
But it’s spawned another petition calling for him to carry on leading our great country which I would urge you to sign. I don’t imagine the petition will be there for long so I’ll list the names below …
Brad Owen
john fisk
Ashie
Joy Wendy Endcomes
Andrew [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
No Comments
08 Mar
No, this isn’t the new UK Fuel logo for a new type of eco-friendly power station, it’s the logo of the United Kingdom First Party.
The motto of the UK First Party is “Country before self” – a rallying call for fascists everywhere, very Musollini-esque.
Fascism is a radical, authoritarian nationalist ideology that aims to create a [...]
Posted in Federal Europe, Funny by: wonkotsane
No Comments
06 Mar
Normally I’m all for depriving environmentalists of oxygen but the lentil eating hippy that did this to Mandelson deserves her five minutes of fame. Then she needs to be deprived of oxygen.
Technorati Tags: Peter Mandelson, Custard
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
07 Feb
Good old Jeremy Clarkson, he always manages to get himself into trouble. He’s got a long way to go before he can challenge Boris Johnson or Prince Phillip for the top spot but he’s a solid contender.
This time he’s offended blind people, disabled people and Scottish people by calling El Gordo a one-eyed Scottish idiot.
It’s [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
13 Comments
07 Dec
From the Daily Mash, via the ginger one:
Technorati Tags: Daily Mash, Funny
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
28 Nov
I know it’s hard to believe but it appears that being a Scottish bank hasn’t, as previously thought, been a good enough reason for investors to plough their life savings into a bankrupt Royal bank of Scotland. Go figure.
RBS had another bumper rights issue as part of the deal with the devil Alistair Darling [...]
Posted in Economy, Funny, Scotland by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
18 Nov
Please try not to laugh, this is deadly serious.
Someone has leaked the BNP’s membership list and posted it on the internet.
Some BNP members are less than please judging by the comments on one BNP blog. Some of them are unhappy because they’re ashamed of their membership and have been outed and some are understandably worried [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
No Comments
17 Oct
Well, what a bumper day this has been for letters.
First of all there’s this one in the Shropshire Star, in response to the council announcing that they’re going to put in average speed cameras on one of the safest roads, relatively speaking, in the borough:
Average speed trap not fair for motorists
Councillor Bentley wants average speed [...]
Posted in Economy, England, Funny, Letters, Scotland by: wonkotsane
26 Comments
17 Oct
… could someone not only consider suing god but actually manage to get a judge to hear the case.
Senator Ernie Chambers of Nebraska brought a law suit against god to get a permanent injunction to prevent “death, destruction and terrorisation” caused by him.
He says he has done it to expose the ridiculous legal system in [...]
Posted in Funny, WTF? by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
22 Sep
Just looking for some information on a recent event held by Telford & Wrekin Council and came across the Leisure, Culture and Tourism page.
First thing I noticed was the missing comma in the title so it reads “Leisure Culture and Tourism”. It’s just a little thing but without the comma the title means something [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
5 Comments
14 Sep
I just took #4 to bed and read a book with her. It was a simple book – One Apple, Two Ducks, that kind of thing. Normally she’d have something with a bit more of a plot but I’m trying to teach her to read.
Anyway, she did well reading out the letters and [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
9 Comments
13 Sep
This should brighten your day up – a whole page dedicated to insults meted out at the illiterate eurofederalist commie retard, Dirty European Spunkmonkey Socialist.
I just happened to mention, in passing, to the ginger one that it would be funny if all the insults he’s had were collated in one place and lo and behold, [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
22 Comments
29 Aug
Naughty Bob Piper gives us an explanation of economics:
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
3 Comments
14 Aug
Birmingham City Council has sent a leaflet to 720,000 households to thank them for helping them hit their recycling targets early.
Printing 720,000 colour leaflets and posting them to every household is a pretty stupid thing to do in itself – it cost the taxpayer £15k and how many of those leaflets will end up being [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
1 Comment
08 Aug
Courtesy of Tommy English
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman drinking beer in a country pub.
That night as they are leaving a huge truck thunders through main street and kills all three!
The next day the publican is surprised to see the Englishman walk back into his pub.
The Englishman tells him that yes, all three of [...]
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
4 Comments
27 Jun
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – nobody stands a chance of winning a by-election but the Conswervative at the moment.
John Howell took 56.95% of the vote and ended up with nearly a 10,000 vote majority.
Liebour came fifth and lost his deposit, being beaten by the Illiberal Dumbocrats, the Green Party and [...]
Posted in EDP, Funny, Labour, Lib Dems, Tories, UKIP by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
23 May
I saw this outside the toilet door at work and had to take a picture. Inspired.
Technorati Tags: John Terry, Funny
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
2 Comments
19 May
Following yesterday’s revelation in the press that Liebour is on the brink of bankruptcy, I did some digging of my own.
According to the list of loans at the Electoral Commission’s website, Liebour has almost £13m of loans due for repayment this year.
It also transpires that in quarter 4 of last year, even the Illiberal Dumbocrats [...]
Posted in Funny, Labour by: wonkotsane
6 Comments
12 May
Ian Taylor, a builder from Gloucestershire, has cut his car in half with and angle grinder rather than let wheel clamping bandits, NCP, take his car away.
He bought a knackered old Fiesta for his son but it was beyond economical repair so he declared it off-road and parked it on his drive while he waited [...]
Posted in Funny, Police State, Transport by: wonkotsane
No Comments
01 May
May the fire of socialism burn inside you as strong as the cars and shops your friends will be setting on fire today.
Technorati Tags: May Day
Posted in Funny by: wonkotsane
1 Comment