I’m in the strange situation of feeling sorry for Alistair Darling. Yes, he’s a fucking cretin. Yes, he looks like like he’s got two caterpillars on his face. Yes, he’s one of the English-hating jocks who signed the Scottish Claim of Right and then done what they can to make sure that England gets screwed over.
But putting that aside, he’s not in a very good position at the moment is he? El Gordo spent a decade selling the family silver, cleaning out the bank accounts and borrowing the gross domestic product of a small African nation every year to make ends meet. Now the One Eyed Wonder of Wankistan has got the top job, Darling is left with a set of accounts that would make an Enron executive shake his head and tut in disapproval.
And to top it all off, McBroon is still trying to spend money like it’s going out of fashion in a desperate attempt to bribe people into voting for Liebour.
This week Darling told us, in a roundabout way, that the economy is up the shitter and we’re not to expect things to get better any time soon. El Gordo then went on to announce that it would be a jolly good idea if local authorities were to spend taxpayers money buying houses that are being reposessed. This is in addition to their plans to offer cheap mortgages to people who are struggling to get on the property ladder or pay their mortgages.
So where’s the money coming from? I don’t think Darling has a clue and El Gordo certainly doesn’t care. The housing market has fallen on its arse, banks and building societies are announcing record losses and we’ve just entered a recession. Yet the British government is still spending like there’s no tomorrow. The 2012 Olympics were supposed to cost just over £3bn but the cost has now risen to over £9bn. The war in Irag and Afghanistan is costing billions with no end in sight. Federal Europe is fleecing us for billions of pounds every year and the price goes up every year.
There isn’t enough money to support the spending that El Gordo is committing. Mother Hubbard has just had a quick look in the cupboard and it’s bare. We’re fucking broke and the Goblin King is still coming out with all these batshit ideas without giving so much as a second thought to the cost. All those people who nicknamed him the Iron Chancellor must be looking in the mirror every morning and thinking what a dick they sound now the shit is hitting the fan.
I can’t see Darling putting up with this for much longer. The number two job has turned out to be a steming pile of number two and it isn’t going to get any better. Assuming they aren’t cancelled in the interests of national security, there will be elections either next year or the year after. Liebour stand about as much chance as a ghosts fart in a force ten gale of winning the next general election so Darling has two options – either tough it out and firefight as best as he can until the next election or resign before things get much worse and let someone else dodge the bullets. My money is on the latter.