Parliament “too white”

! This post hasn't been updated in over a year. A lot can change in a year including my opinion and the amount of naughty words I use. There's a good chance that there's something in what's written below that someone will find objectionable. That's fine, if I tried to please everybody all of the time then I'd be a Lib Dem (remember them?) and I'm certainly not one of those. The point is, I'm not the kind of person to try and alter history in case I said something in the past that someone can use against me in the future but just remember that the person I was then isn't the person I am now nor the person I'll be in a year's time.

Harriet Harperson, the Minister for Women and Equality (there is no Minister for Men, of course, making it one of the most ironic job titles in the history of modern politics) has decided that the British government is “too white” and they must make efforts to make it more representative of the general population.

She’s even intending to launch an inquiry into why there are more white men in parliament than women or ethnic minorities and “positive discrimination” has been mooted again as a way of cheating the system to fulfill arbitrary quotas.

The last thing we need in these troubled economic times is an expensive inquiry so I’ll save the taxpayer some money by telling Harriet Harperson the answer myself, free of charge:

Dear Ms Harperson,

I read, with interest, your comments on the “too white” British Parliament and wished to offer your my support.  I appreciate that words are of no use to someone with so many jobs and so much inequality to stamp out so I will offer you some practical support.

I note that you are intending to launch an inquiry into why there are so many white male MPs in parliament.  As luck would have it, I have previously investigated this and discovered the cause of this democratic defecit.  There are a number of factors involved:

  • More white males want to be MPs
  • More white males put themselves forward for selection
  • More white males are voted to be candidates by their party
  • More white males are voted for in elecions

I hope this helps with your investigations and saves you launching an expensive inquiry into how you and your colleagues became MPs.  I look forward to reading your proposals for ensuring that parliament has adequate quotas of ethnic minority, female, disabled, homosexual, trans-gender and other oppressed sections of society.

Kind Regards,


If anyone else wants to send the findings of their own investigations, you can contact Harriet Harperson by email at

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  1. axel (1214 comments) says:

    Not Harriet HarperSON it should be ‘Harriet Harperbeing’

    A son grows up to be a MAN and that is evil

  2. axel (1214 comments) says:

    This could be a good way to get proportional representation in. Say a party wins 100 seats, 9 of them need to be homosexualists, 52 of them need to be womanity, 7 of them need to be smelly socks, so on and so forth.

  3. axel (1214 comments) says:

    westminster is full of white blokes because it is full of white blokes, if you can understand that, only certain types of people become mps because only certain types of people want to be mps, apart from the guy in the white suit.

    Use this as a call for a major constitutional reform. You could get rid of us and the paddies, think how much you will save!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the major trauma that will cause to the system can be used to bring in a more modern effective electoral system

  4. IcyPurplepants (13 comments) says:

    So what she’s saying is that she will deny us the opportunity to elect the very best people for the job, by replacing them with PC candidates. Nice. Of course, if you take political correctness out of the equation, you will see that the proportion of black MPs to white MPs might be similar to the proportion of black to white people in the UK

    Mind you, David Camoron has been talking about doing the same thing with women if he gets elected. All goes to show we have no choice with whom we elect right now, they are all from the same Marxoid mould

  5. Stan (222 comments) says:

    Excuse me if I’m reading this wrongly, but are you all saying that the predominantly white, male, middle class MP’s we’ve currently got representing us are all there because they are the very best people for the job?

    Brown? Cameron?

    Please tell me I’ve got this wrong.

  6. wonkotsane (1133 comments) says:

    He said the opportunity to elect the very best people, he didn’t say we actually did it. :p

  7. Stan (222 comments) says:

    “He said the opportunity to elect the very best people, he didn’t say we actually did it. :p ”

    Thank god, I thought the world was going mad : )

  8. Stan (222 comments) says:

    Wonko – sorry to go off topic but the time quoted on new entries seems to be an hour ahead.

  9. wonkotsane (1133 comments) says:

    For some reason the blog was set to +1 hour. Bizarre. Changed it to +0 now, it should take effect with new posts.

  10. jerry (78 comments) says:

    Its “too white” because white guys are still the best at talking Bullshit.

  11. tbrrob (24 comments) says:

    Very funny.

  12. jerry (78 comments) says:

    Well its true isn’t?The art has been passed on for generations.

  13. jerry (78 comments) says:

    By the way in germany a politician of the left party blocked by an mandatory injunction
    because apparently the biography posted on the website was false in some points.(he was working for the Stasi for several years)
    It seems he has mistaken the democratic germany with his good old DDR.

  14. jerry (78 comments) says:

    And it seems that the whole thing is pointless anyway because you still access with the same “false” biography.

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