Ok, let’s have a second referendum

Dear Remainers,

In order to bring to a close the two years of crying, wailing, sour grapes and vexatious legal challenges from democracy hating bad losers I am prepared to support a second Brexit referendum on the following conditions:

  1. The British government issues another leaflet detailing all the claims they made in their first leaflet and how each one was wrong. A proportion of the £9m cost of this leaflet will be deducted from the Remain campaign’s budget pro-rated by the number of true/false claims.
  2. The legislation providing for the second referendum includes a clause that will abolish the BBC’s licence fee if an independent panel concludes at any time during the campaign that its reporting is not impartial.
  3. Universities joining the campaign will not be permitted to charge tuition fees for the next year. If they want to put resources into politicking instead of education then let a Remainer billionaire like Soros or Branson pay for it, not the students.
  4. Any company, organisation or politician that campaigns for either side must declare any links to political parties or the EU with financial penalties for non-compliance. Their intention to campaign must be pre-registered and the information provided to every household at the start of the campaign.
  5. Both Leave and Remain campaigns will have the same budget.

All reasonable conditions I’m sure you’ll agree which would ensure a fair referendum campaign and deliver an even bigger crushing blow to the pro-EU establishment.

Yours, etc.

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