Twat of the Year 2007: Results

! This post hasn't been updated in over a year. A lot can change in a year including my opinion and the amount of naughty words I use. There's a good chance that there's something in what's written below that someone will find objectionable. That's fine, if I tried to please everybody all of the time then I'd be a Lib Dem (remember them?) and I'm certainly not one of those. The point is, I'm not the kind of person to try and alter history in case I said something in the past that someone can use against me in the future but just remember that the person I was then isn't the person I am now nor the person I'll be in a year's time.

The votes have been cast and there is a clear winner.

Al Gore did take an early lead but proved to be no match for No Mandate Brown who knocked him into second place on day 2.  Michael Martin and Al Gore were level pegging for the last couple of days but Gore took him by one vote, probably cast after seeing one of those bloody irritating global warming propaganda adverts on the telly.

Camoron rallied slightly yesterday but it was too little too late and he finds himself languishing in joint 4th with Batshit.

Paul Hughes, my pretendy Welshman colleague who asked so nicely to be included in the poll despite not being a public figure, put in a magnificent showing finishing 6th in front of Jacqui Smith, Traitor Bliar and Alistair Darling who, with zero votes, really needs to put in more effort.

The final results were as follows:

A triumphant Gordon Brown thanked the people of the Republic of New Britain when presented with his award this morning at breakfast.  “This shows that the people have trust in New Labour and the reforms being delivered by the Ministry of Truth” he said between mouthfuls of porridge.

Al Gore, who had flown in specially from the US on his private jet for the celebration breakfast, was gracious in defeat although he was heard to call the Prime Minister a “kilt wearing polar bear murderer” for leaving the bathroom light on.

David Camoron missed the award ceremony after getting knocked off his bike by one of Alistair Darling’s eyebrows at a set of traffic lights.

David Milliband wasn’t present at the breakfast and hasn’t been seen since going on a binge with Peter Hain on Thursday night.  The pair were last seen staggering down Clapham High Street with a traffic cone and a car park sign singing what appeared to be a song about hedgehogs to the tune of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”.

Also missing was Tony Bliar who declined the invitation as he had a conference call with Jesus at 8.30am followed by guitar lessons with Jimmy Hendrix but thanked the Prime Minister for his vote.

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6 comments

  1. Aaron (72 comments) says:

    Those are shocking results! Granted, Al Gore is a gimp. And granted, David Cameron keeps putting his foot in it, but worse than Blair? Smith? And the rest? Never.

    *looks around suspiciously*

  2. wonkotsane (1133 comments) says:

    Have you seen those climate change adverts? It’s understandable!

  3. KeithS (80 comments) says:

    > Have you seen those climate change adverts?

  4. KeithS (80 comments) says:

    Aaargh! It’s happened again!!!!!!!!
    “Have you seen those climate change adverts?”

    Which, the one put on at peak viewing time showing engines running around town and concluding that if we all pump up our tyres, the world will be “saved”? How much tax-payers money do these wankers get given to spend?

  5. Aaron (72 comments) says:

    Nope, rarely watch commercial television. Auntie may not exactly have impartial news reporting, but she doesn’t come out with such wankery as Big Brother, The X Factor, Coronation Street or Dancing on shitting Ice!

    In conclusion, however annoying a TV advert(s) may be, it doesn’t outweight the treacherous cuntery of Milliband, Smith, et al.

  6. Paul (10 comments) says:

    Shame, ah well. Maybe I can win it next year!!

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