Gordon Brown might not bother going to vote in the British Parliament more than a few times a year since he lost the last election but he’s still capable of screwing England over. Today he made the following demands for the British nationalist parties to sign up to before Thursday’s Scottish independence referendum:
[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”true”]
[fruitful_tab title=”A permanent role for Scotland in the evolution of the UK”]The former prime minister has already argued that the UK is on course for major constitutional change even in the event of a No vote. He wants a guarantee that any future constitutional change will be made with Scotland’s involvement. Some will fear that without such a guarantee, calls for more powers for England could be debated without Scotland being consulted.[/fruitful_tab]
[fruitful_tab title=”A guarantee of "fairness"”]Gordon Brown wants politicians of all unionist parties to sign a statement that the aim of a “modern union” will be one that secures “security and opportunity for all” by “sharing equitably the resources of the nations and regions”.[/fruitful_tab]
[fruitful_tab title=”A guarantee that the Barnett formula will survive and Scotland will be able to raise taxes to protect spending on the NHS if necessary”]Nationalists are likely to point out that there can be no such guarantees given that the unionist parties have not reached agreement on which powers to give Scotland in future.[/fruitful_tab]
I didn’t think it was possible for Gordon Brown to be any more offensive or detached from reality than he has been over the last few years but he’s really excelled himself. We didn’t vote for him, we don’t want him yet he still pokes his nose into English affairs (or “the regions” as he calls England) making demands for his beloved Scotland.
English people have had no input whatsoever into the promises the British government have made to give Scotland extra powers if they vote no so why should Scotland have any influence over how England is run? And why should the Barnett Formula – an arbitrary, temporary way of giving Scotland extra money drawn up on the back of a fag packet in the 70s – be guaranteed forever? It isn’t based on need, it’s based on greed; the irrational belief that the Scots are entitled to a share of England’s wealth just because they want it.
Gordon Brown signed the Scottish Claim of Right in 1989, promising to put the interests of the Scottish people first and foremost in everything he did. He honoured that promise throughout his tenure as Chancellor of the Exchequer, during his brief but destructive stint as Prime Minister and he’s still honouring it now.
But we are the people of England; and we have not spoken yet. Smile at us, pay us, pass us by. But never forget.
I saw a Facebook comment this morning from a local Labour councillor criticising the use of unemployed people bussed in to the centre of London to marshal the Jubilee concert. This is “slavery” and of course, all down to the evil Tories.
I actually have some time for this councillor who, despite his politics mostly being fundamentally wrong to me, is doing a reasonable job in trying circumstances but this was a bit hypocritical really because I remember writing something a couple of years ago – April 2009 to be precise – about Gordon Brown proposing to force English children to do 50 hours of community service, threatening exam failure for those that refused.
There is nothing wrong with unemployed people doing community service and I’ve previously written various pieces on why unemployed people should be made to work in exchange for their benefits. As it happens, the people the aforementioned councillor was referring to weren’t treated particularly well but that doesn’t make the principal wrong because it isn’t. But what is interesting, though, is that forcing adults claiming unemployment benefits to do some community work for the benefit of those paying the benefits is considered to be wrong whilst an MP elected in Scotland proposing to force English children to do community service and threatening them with exam failure for not complying is apparently ok.
Isn’t it interesting how the moral compass is so often guided by the colour of someone’s rosette?
The election is almost upon us and it’s time for a prediction I think: Nick Clegg will be Prime Minister.
Now, don’t get any silly ideas about the Lib Dems winning the election because they won’t. The Tories will win the election with most seats but they won’t have a working majority and Cameron would rather go without than share power. The newspaper ads and constant talk about how terrible a hung parliament would be confirm that Cameron is out for absolute power and nothing less.
There will be no shortage of offers to form a coalition with Cast Iron Dave but they will be rebuffed. The party faithful will be told that it’s better to let a LibLab coalition limp along for a few months before collapsing and then the Tories can romp home to victory in a snap election. Most of them will fall for it of course and those that don’t will accept it for the greater good.
So that just leaves the Lib Dems and Labour. The Lib Dems will come second on Thursday, relegating Labour to third place. Clegg will want a coalition of the left which rules out the Tories and whilst the SNP and Plaid will make gains at the election (the former more so than the latter) they won’t have enough lobby fodder for Clegg to see off the Tories so it will be a LibLab coalition with Clegg as Prime Minister.
Whether El Gordo will manage to cling on as leader after the election remains to be seen. Mandelson is already leader in all but name and I expect him to take over the reins from El Gordo at some point after the election. Clegg says he won’t work with Brown but once he smells victory he’ll soon change his tune.
And what about the non-LibLabCon/celtic nationalists? Well, UKIP will come out with a handful of MPs – I think between three and five. The BNP will retain some deposits but they won’t win and seats. The English Democrats will spring a few surprises but won’t win any seats. The Greens will come worryingly close to winning a seat but won’t quite make it.
That’s right, he’s done it again. Despite a strong performance from Herman van Rumpy-Pumpy, El Gordo managed to maintain a convincing lead from early on in the voting and finished up with 62% of the vote in a head-to-head contest with the Emperor of the European Commission.
No Mandate Brown was nominated for using the death of his daughter for political advantage on the Piers Morgan show and that, combined with his general twattishness, seems to have secured the award.
A week late (still no reminders from the person who said he was going to remind me!) and here is the Twat of the Week voting for the last fortnight …
The first candidate, as ever, is El Presidente himself, Gordon “5 Pints” McBrown who was nominated by email for using his dead child for politicking.
The second candidate is Herman Van Rumpy-Pumpy, the President of the European Empire, for being an “Arrogant, unelected little mutant who acts like the heir to Caesar and Charlemagne. He looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book”.
A difficult choice between two very strong contestants this week. On one hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Scottish europhile and on the other hand there’s a gurning, ineffectual Belgian europhile. It’s a tough one to call.
The results of the second Twat of the Week vote of 2010 are in and it’s a predictable win for the One Eyed Wonder of Wankistan who, despite being nominated for no reason other reason than the fact that he’s Gordon Brown, still managed to secure 39% of the vote.
Thanks god this isn’t a general election!
Remember to get your nominations in for this week’s Twat of the Week. Either post your nomination, with a one-liner to explain why, in the comments or send your nomination by email.
Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt, both former Ministers, have written an open letter to all Liebour MPs calling for a secret ballot on No Mandate Brown’s leadership of the party.
They say the party is “deeply divided” and that the question of McBroon’s leadership needs to be “sorted out once and for all”.
The Liebour Party is battling with crippling debts and is technically insolvent. It is facing regular revolts from the unions that are keeping them out of the bankruptcy courts and MPs are in open revolt. There are more unelected peers in the cabinet than there has ever been in history, making a mockery of Liebour’s claim to be the party of the working class man. Liebour was virtually wiped out at the EU election in June last year, coming in fourth place behind the Tories, UKIP and – embarassingly – the Lib Dims. The state of the economy would shame a third world finance minister and the Liebour propaganda machine just churns out meaningless drivel about “our message”, “shared values”, “fairness” and “getting on with the job” to mask the fact that they have absolutely no idea what to do next.
It remains to be seen whether Liebour MPs ditch El Gordo this close to an election. Not only does it show how weak and divided they are, but surely even the Liebour Party wouldn’t dare to impose yet another no mandate Prime Minister on us without an election? Has there ever been a case in our history where we’ve had three Prime Minister’s from the same party with only one election? Perhaps that’s their plan – to oust McBroon, call a snap election and try and stem their losses?
I have a feeling the One Eyed Wonder of Wankistan will call an early election and hope for a career-saving miracle rather than lose a ballot on his leadership but once the election is over, he will be gone and Peter Mandelson will flounce in to take his place. Mandelson has been hogging the limelight ever since he began his bizarre third stint in government and only yesterday he announced plans for a one-off Queen’s Jubilee bank holiday in England in 2010 despite the British Department for English Media, English Culture and English Sport being the ones running with it.
Mandelson’s leadership campaign started the minute he was brough back into McBroon’s cabinet of all the talentless.